Why the hell are 14-year-old girls dating 19-year-old boys?

I've been noticing a disturbing pattern in the Love & Relationships section of this website and on other forums. It seems that a lot of 14-year-old girls are dating 19-year-old boys with whom they regularly have sex. Seriously now. It's bad enough that kids are having sex, but kids having sex with people who are supposed to be grown-ups? Where are the parents and what were they thinking when they agreed to this 'relationship'?

And you there, the 19-year-old boy who listens to Green Day. Yeah, I'm talking to you. What the F is wrong with you? Damn it, seriously. Can't you at least date someone your age? Someone who didn't just get her first period six months ago maybe? I sure hope you're not turning to 14-year-old girls because you can't get girls your age - people who know your actual place in the world - to date you. That is WAY pathetic.

/rant

It's pretty sick if you ask me. Kids are wanting to grow up too fast & older guys take advantage of that. It's a sick and twisted thing to do to a child. Most girls believe the guys are 'in love' with them when we all know in reality it's just to get that one thing. Many young girls pretend to be a lot older to get older guys to like them. It has been done too many times on myspace and other popular websites. I believe parents should educate their children more about sex & relationships. Any little talk can make a huge difference in a childs life.

Parental control online would also help.

I remember when I was younger and would have crushes on older guys, and I'm sure they knew about it too! The thing is, they would never try to get with me or tell me they loved me, they knew better, so they treated me like a sister, not a girlfriend! So, yes these guys definately need to check themselves before they go messing around with children, that is very disturbing!

Yeah, its up the wowzer. But you kind of need to accept the fact it happens. In fact, history has even condoned it.

In classical times, girls of the age of 12 were stripped of all toys and other 'childish' paraphernalia, and married off- usually to a guy in his 30s. As much as I screw my face up at it, it doesn't change it.

I find a lot of the problems stem from children not having stable relationships growing up. Often I see young girls whose parents barely have time for them, or rarely pay them any attention. So sometimes they simply date these 19 year olds to get their parents attention. Other times I've seen girls dating these 19 year olds to seem more 'grown up'. It's so distressing and ultimately upsetting that children these days are so desperate to be grown ups that they will go to such drastic measures to prove they can be 'mature'... when in reality, it only shows how young they really are.

umm so whats your problem?

I have a 13 and 17 year old daughter and if a 19 year old guy came around my husband and I would make it VERY CLEAR to him to stay away. Even take legal action if necessary. Or, point a 38 Smith & Wesson at him. He'll get the picture.

pkees: Your husband sounds like the type of parent I like!

Thanks Lexicon. We have to protect our girls. I would do the same for you.

oh get over it, its their lives to make mistakes in, not yours, let them learn and for f*** sake stop pestering them, its their own life and not yours!

I hate to say it but I was that girl, and my boyfriend was in fact almost 20, I don't know what to say, but it seemed not that big of a deal. I do think it kind of depends on the guy and the girl, for some reason we just matched. honestly when it happens now kind of judge those relationship but looking back it seemed so natural

themightymoose: I'd like to think that I will care about my kid(s) enough in the future to not let then fall prey to pedophiles and guys who are disgusting enough to be interested in sexual relationships with children. pkees is merely stating how she looks after and protects her daughters, because she loves them. I'd like to see how your kids turn out with the attitude that 'kiddie fiddlers are okay, because it's their life, not mine'.

>>>In classical times, girls of the age of 12 were stripped of all toys and other 'childish' paraphernalia, and married off- usually to a guy in his 30s.

Classical times? My grandma was married off to a man twice her age when she was 13. And I really did believe we've come a long way since young girls were blatantly taken advantage of. Silly me.

>>>oh get over it, its their lives to make mistakes in, not yours, let them learn and for f*** sake stop pestering them, its their own life and not yours!

It's too bad no matter how hard I try I can never be that self-centered.

>>>it seemed so natural

Everything seemed natural when you couldn't think straight. Take it from someone who has been nineteen: boys of that age are not supposed to like a 14-year-old girl. That is so wrong on so many levels.

You cannot judge a relationship like that solely on age. There are a FEW 14 year old girls mature enough to handle a 19 year old. You really can't say the girl's a slut until you meet her..

Also, I think both parties realize that what they're doing is socially unacceptable, which is why there are so many posts on here, because the girls can't ask for advice from those they know for fear of being judged.

wow, 14, 19 ? .. that a little too much, maybe if sex wasn't part of it .. it woldn't seem so bad.
well I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 16,
so that's not to much of a diffrence, and I can say I'm mature for my age, and he's childish so we compliment each other well, ha.
and shocking ? .. we have had sex, though we are not ALL dumb, give me that much?
.. we're safe if we ever do!.. rarely ever.

don't judge, please.

but I do understand 5 years diffrence thats not only wrong but illegl..

its ok...age doesn't matter. its better he is well experience in all aspect..go on continue!!!

That's against the law. If the parents of the girl found out they could charge the guy with statutory rape. Even if they both agreed to have sex. The ages are different everywhere, but in PA, you can not have sex at 13. If you are 14, the other person can be no older than 16. (No more then 2 years older). I don't know if the parents know that they are having sex, but yeah were I am from it is illegal.

'You can date anyone at any age, as long as you dont have sex!'- my one friend said that... =)

wow, I sooo agree!
the age difference is huge! thatz against the law we're talking about...
I mean, thses guys may say they love the girl, but they're just perverts!
I mean, dating them is one thing, but having sex with these little girls, that haven't even fully matured yet, thats just unbelieveable..

its okay to have an older guy once your an adult, but guezz, this is just plain wrong!
I'm 16, and the oldest guy I think I'd ever go for is 17-18... even two years seems a lot to me?!

ok you people are just bugging about it to much hey I am dating a 15 yr old and I am 19 but I talk to the parents and they gave me permission as long as I fallow some of there limitations and I all ready promised them that me and her would not have sex because I know she is young and because I have school to finish and it is not that I don't want to date girls my own age or can't it is just most of them are just big sluts and some might act all high and mighty about it but they know it is true. hey I am a vergin and plan to stay like that till I marry

u should all stop saying all that is wrong because these girls are just asking for advise you can bs all about it but it is happening they need support and understanding since they cant get it at home