Which one is better?

Re write

I've gone without you for oh so long

Your face has plagued me,
I see it every evening in the oceans sea foam floating upon the surface.
Your gentle voice beckons to me from across the seas,
I hear you whisper in the ocean breeze,
Calling to...

me

I step into the waters
The sand between my toes
Standing trying to overcome the undertow
I let myself fall,
I let myself drift upon the ocean surface
Not knowing where I'll go
All I know is that I just want you by my side again
Some day soon

The theme was bottom of the sea, the topic was gentle voice

Original

Hexadecamel: gentle voice
Hexadecamel: ~*~
Hexadecamel: ~*~
Hexadecamel: ~*~
Hexadecamel: your face has plagued me
Hexadecamel: I've gone without you for oh so long
Hexadecamel: I wish to be with you
Hexadecamel: to feel your arms' embrace
Hexadecamel: '
Hexadecamel: your gentle voice beckons me from across the seas
Hexadecamel: I hear you whisper in the ocean wind
Hexadecamel: calling to me
Hexadecamel: '
Hexadecamel: I step into the waters
Hexadecamel: the sand between my toes
Hexadecamel: standing trying to overcome the undertow
Hexadecamel: I let myself fall,
Hexadecamel: I let myself drift upon the ocean surface
Hexadecamel: not knowing where I'll go
Hexadecamel: all I know is that I just want you by mu side again
Hexadecamel: some day soon before I die
Hexadecamel: ~*~*~*~*`end*~*~*~*~

(to lazy to edit right now)

I kind of like the 1st 1
but hey
I think I still need to edit & re-write a few times
don't not sure which direction to take
so I'll ask for your opinions

I liked the first one. It was beautiful, unique and descriptive. It portrayed a grreat image, and I believe that you are great with poems. You should continue to make more. Because I'd love to hear of them. ^^

I like the Re Right a lot better, I really dont know why

the original sounds better except put the "ocean breeze" instead of the ocean wind

The first one
What's the Hexadecamel about?