What if your heart belongs to a guy, but ...

he's two years older than me. (thats a big gap for me, because the guys I know are not as mature as the guy who is two years older.) and im going to be seventeen in may, he'll be nineteen in may. and he's off at college, but coming home, our home town,...

his alma mater, my school, in may.
he and I were kind of close last year and I guess I never really got over him. he was a senior, while I was a sophmore. we never went out or anything like that, just two really close friends who loved each other.
oh and I did have a crush on him too. I find him the perfect guy, like a gentlman, a passionate person. hes a musician and wants to be a music teacher, like me, except at a higher level that me. we both have the same tastes and connect really well.
maybe I just need to share my feelings, because, im the kind of girl who doesnt want to risk her friendship with people, therefore, holding her feelings inside.
I just want advice, because, I feel like uh ...

im not asking for advice to ask him out or to get over him, because I have nothing to get over, I just want advice about why I feel so connected with him and why my heart wont let him go. is it just a strong connection that bonds us forever as friends no matter what? oh and I also want to mention I feel loyal to him. as he is loyal to me. and once again, I dont mean loyal as boyfriend/girlfriend. get that straight.

if you dont understand, funmail me =D I'll be glad to explain.
thx <3

I dated the guy who is now my best friend when I was in like the 6th grade && he was in the 8th.. we didn't date long because he was about to be going off to High School && I of course had 2 years to go until HS. but after we broke up we just became best friends -- && that strange "bond" is still there... && same as in your situation, we're both extremely loyal to each other.. && although I have found the love of my life (my current boyfriend) he will ALWAYS be in my best friend && my first love .. It's just strange that things happen that way, ya know? But just stay close with him as a friend && I have NO DOUBT that you'll be good friends with him for the rest of your life .. (= You're one of the very few lucky girls that have a situation like this with a guy friend Good luck with everything && I wish you the best!

aw that is soo sweet! thank you! =D