What if our marriage is falling apart and I like my wife's cousin?

First, I love my wife, and I don't want to hurt her in the least. But I'm just not sure I was ready to get married. I don't think she was either, as she has been going out to bars to try to pick up women (yes I said women).
I don't have a problem with it...

in the least, but I have no interest in being a part of it at all. HOWEVER, and I feel aweful for this, but I am crazy about her cousin. I think her cousin feels pretty strongly about me but doesn't want to hurt her cousin or our marriage.
With my wifes interest and desire to be with other women, does that give me the... hmm for lack of better word, "right" to fool around with her cousin?
I'd ask her if the lax rules apply to both her desires and mine, but I'm afraid how she would react if she found out my interest was her cousin... We've been married about 2 years and I've got a pretty decent idea of how she feels about things, but no clue how she would take this, or even to appraoch the topic.

Do I just try to get "permission" to be with another woman and not tell her who it is? or do I just come out and say how I really feel? That I love my wife but am lusting for her cousin BAD.

I want to do this, but not at the cost of completely losing my wife. Shes VERY open to explore things, but I just dont know how open shes going to be about it being her cousin...

Some input would be helpful I think, but please, no harsh words, the confusion I'm in is torment enough!

Personally, my feeling is that before someone goes to "play in another garden", they need to "pull ALL of the weeds from their present garden."

Meaning: you need to end your marriage before you get involved with another person.

Whether your wife has indicated her sexual preference or not, LEGALLY you are still married and thereby still bound by your marriage vows. I married on 25 Dec 2006, and I do not recall a clause in the vows where if my husband indicated at some point that he had changed his sexual preference, then it would be ok for me to be with someone else so long as we remained married.

If you have knowledge that your marriage is falling apart and there is no possible reconciliation on either part, then you need to do the right thing.

No harsh word? that's hard. . See I'm divorced because my Ex couldn't remember who's bed she was suppose to be it. . . . But no harsh words. . . . When you got married it was a vow (promise) to be faithful. . . you do not have the right to see another neither does she. . Male or female. that's all I can say with no harsh words. . .

You ask for harsh words not to be thrown at you yet you talk about marriage like it's some casual arrangement between two strangers. I think it is ridiculous the way you talk about being open and your wife is interested in women, and so on. People say "to each his own", right? I am also divorced because my ex husband couldn't remember who's bed he should be in, and sometimes he forgot who should be in his bed. I don't think the two of you should even be married. Not just to each other, but not anybody. Why did you get married in the first place when you said neither one of you were truly ready. You don't want to lose your wife but you you don't act like a husband. You should be ashamed of yourself and so should your wife. I don't think divorce is an easy answer but you aren't meant to be a husband, not yet anyway. And if your wife is a lesbian, let her go be one. I suggested trying new things when I was married before, like different positions, different rooms, taking trips to exotic places, among other things. Not getting together with my cousin-in-law or asking "permission" to have affairs. I am little passionate about marriage. Don't be so arrogent that you think this would be ok in your marriage.

Do you have any kids? I hope not. You need to end this mess before you do anything with any other woman, cousin or who ever. Good Luck.

Also look at this factor. . .having a relationship with her cousin will cause strife in her family creating mistrust and harsh words ( Remember you didn't want harsh words.) And I promise someone in that family will have very very very harst words for you. Possible leading to a visit to the hospital for you. . . .

sounds like this question was posted to get a rise, and he thoroughly suceeded. Men are stupid, but not dumb! who would tell a strange website all this information. sounds a little far fetched!