Tried everything...

Okay. So what do you do when you've tried everything to get your wife more interested in sex?
I love my wife deeply - More than life itself. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be enough to keep our sexual relationship alive.

We make love once...

every two to four weeks - - sometimes less frequently.

We've talked about it. She says that she loves me, but I can't help feeling as though her love for me is waning as the intimacy wanes. We've had many "heart to heart" conversations on the subject, but after 20 years, me expressing my feelings or desires (or yearn for intimacy) had less and less effect.

The end result of our conversations is that she says that she feels less desire because she's always busy keeping up the house. The reality is, and I've tested this ad nauseum over time, that when I begin to do more (yes, for more than a day or a week) there's no effect whatsoever.

It's frustrating. My wife and I are best friends. I would do anything for her. Furthermore, I would do absolutely anything for her sexually. Giving myself totally to our lovemaking is one of the most gratifying things in the world. I just can't get her to feel the same way. Subsequently, our relationship feels extremely one-sided.

I'm not conceited, but I'm a decent looking man that's just a bit overweight. That happens over time. But I'm clean, I take care of myself, and I take pride in my appearance.

My wife is a beautiful woman and has also gained some weight. This has never bothered my. Not once. Even when she was nine months pregnant, I still found her just as attractive as when she was 20 years old.

The problem is, when it comes to lovemaking, I give and she takes. I feel like a doormat in that, I'm ready, willing, and able anytime, anywhere, and in any way that she wants, but I never, ever feel any reciprocation.

When I've asked her to talk to her doctor about what appears to be a low libido, she either doesn't or tells me that the doctor told her that she needs to make lifestyle changes to reduce her stress.

I just wish my wife would allow herself to live in the moment a bit more. To experience the pleasures in life rather than constantly compiling a list of stuff that needs to be done.

And no, I don't put everything on my wife. We share everything. I can cook, I clean, ...basically, I've never looked at my wife as though she were my mother. There's no job that's exclusively hers simply because she's female - - Okay, giving birth. I've never been able to do that, so that job was always hers.

I'm at wits end. I'm not angry, just saddened by the fact that, as bad as our sex life is, it will never get any better - only worse.

Personally, I think that much of it is due to her mother. Yes, I know I sound like a real jerk, but hear me out. Her mother is what I call, a life vaccuum. She will suck the life out of anyone or anything that is near. Every comment, and I mean every comment out of her mother's mouth is negative. And although my wife and I have been together many years (she's been away from her mother) I can't help but wonder if much of the problem isn't due to the fact that she was brought up in a very unhappy household.

And when it comes right down to it, how do you tell someone that their mother is a real A**Hole without being one yourself?

I guess my question is, how do you cope with the fact that you're happy in love but unhappy in lust??

If she won't talk to anything I highly doubt there's anything you can do. Personally I was married for 8 years and I didn't want to have sex with my husband, however in MY case I felt like I was being used just for sex. We'd have sex but I wasn't in to it, I would give in just to get him off my case. I enjoy sex but for a lot of women it's just NOT high on the list of priorities, and most men equate sex with love. If we're having sex I'm showing her how much I love her, but women don't see things that way.

You can try marital counseling, and that may help unlock what parts of her problem are. Of course you want to be intimate with your wife, but intimacy is a lot more then just sex and people lose sight of that. If my husband had just spent moretime on the couch cuddling with me instead of off doing other things I'd have been more inclided to make love to him, ad I told him that, but deaf ears I suppose.

There's nothing you can do to make someone want you, esp after you've been together for years and you have children together. I tried to suggest a schedule, Wednesdays and Sundays for example, that way we both knew what days we'd be having sex, he wount have to beg knowing he wasn't going to get any, I wouldn't have to deal with it, and we'd both know what was going on, he didn't like that idea as much but I still can't figure out why .

Marriage counseling does sound like a viable solution. At least this might help you understand yourselves better and help eleviate the frustration stemming from your sexual life as a couple.
I must admit you can not force someone to be more interested sexualy, but you can try to understand and be understood.
It sounds like you and your wife has drifted apart when it comes to priorities and needs. This is why I think marriage counseling could help. She seems to need to organise and have a routine. You seem to need to be spontanious and break the routine.
Bottom line is you can either accept the situation as it is, or try to push your relationship further by confronting it head on. Either decision has its consequences and hardships. Take the time you need to weigh your options and the possible outcomes.
Good luck!

wow thats a long question, maybe if you showed her that she'd understand exactly how you feel.

Or you could buy her a vibrator lol to boost her libido than you can replace it.

try sex toys "Vibrators " I can gurantee ! That she will have her feet straight up reaching for the ceiling in no time ! GOING FOR THAT ORG**M ! /// YOU SHOULD BE THERE / UP AND INTO THE PRE-C*M " LEAKING " stage ! / So do not mas*urba*e ! / Just keep a hard-on and continue to " LEAK " one drop to the tip at a time ! Keep every thing " SLOW " If you have enough will power you should be able to " LEAK " for hours ! Remember do not mas*urba*e [ JUST " LEAK " Eeee JUDY.