Time to think

Hi, first time I've done this but I don't know what to do - me and my boyfriend have decided to have a break to think about stuff - we have lived together for three years. The problem is that we want different things for the future. I want kids soon - he...

has no plans for them yet ( hasn't said no though) The other day he went out for a drink and came back 2 days later. this really shocked me because he has never done this before - I certainly wouldnt accept it on a regular basis. He justified where he'd been and I do believe him because I know him very well but I couldnt get over the fact that he didnt call or text to say where hed been. His explanation for not calling was "I dont know - I messed up" Im now thinking he needed space as I have recently put pressure on him about children. I asked him to leave and have a think, after 3 years together, I think I deserve better than his complete lack of respect for me when he appeared to have vanished of the face of the earth and hadent called - . I told him this, he looked sad, said he wants to talk tomorrow, I said that wasnt long enough to think about such a massive thing - but he was adamant that he wanted to see me tomorrow. I would like him to grow up a bit, he puts everyone else first and goes out with his mates often - but says he loves me. ( dont get me wrong - I dont mind the mates thing, I'd just like to feel important in his life from time to time) I believe him when he says he loves me but he is so rubbish at thinking of my feelings. I am sooo much in love wit him in every other way and really dont know what to do. Now Im worrid that in his "time to think time" he will make the decision to leave. I know that if he does then I should accept that is his decision based on that we both want different things, Im not sure my dreams are that far fetched as he is 30 and I'm 28 but I am a pathetic vunerable person at the moment, frightened that he wont come back - Please help - Be gentle with yr replies xxx

I think that what ever happens, it's for the best, if you guys stay together, it's because your meant to be together, but if you two break up, it was just meant to be like that and there's someone else out there for you. when he says he loves you, from time to time, make sure he's looking you strait in the eye(I know! it's weird but sometimes when guys arent telling the truth, the tend to either look down or anywhere but in the eye) if you really love him a lot, tell him you're willing to work things out(do this BEFORE YOU "TALK", basically, show him and tell him that you love him, and show him that you aren't done loving him yet, the rest is up to him and there just isn't anything else you can do about it....hope I helped!
~kk~

If you are determined about that what type of life you want to live (kids, family, etc.) , then it is very important how you will find the best person for that. Anyway, you cannot realise not only your plan, but even not yourself. Building up that life needs a lot of efforts, and if you choose an inappropriate person, he can even ruin your life. Even if he is a very nice person.

Hun you can only be the person you can, and it sounds like you are a very good girlfriend who respects and trusts her man. Thats the best you can be and it sounds to me like he has taken advantage of this. I dont think he would have stood for you disappearing and not contacting him for 2 days, so he knows you are rite in re-thinking your relationship over. Time apart is definetly what is needed here, to go over what each of you want in the relationship becos you seemed to have lost your way. Of coarse you are going to fear he will decide not to come back, but look at it this way, if that happens, better you know now rather then when you actually had children and then he decided he didnt want them and up and left then. Atleast this way you can move on now and find someone who wants the same things as you do. try and stay positive hun, you no you deserve better then the way he has treated you.