Thanks for your advice

Thank you very much for your answer. I can understand it but the thing is I can't even imagine my life with another person. I am sure I can't be true to that person. This will solely spoil his life too. In future, if he come to know my love affair, the...

result may be very dangerous. Above all, I can't live peacefully. And I decided strongly that if I get married, it will be only with my lover. Now, I am totally confused about how can I am going to convince my parents????

I respect you wanting to be honest and truthful to your future husband and parents. Yet, I feel the urge to insist that you really take the time to think this through and talk about it with your lover. This is a big decision that needs to be adressed in detail.

Before involving the whole family into your affair, please take the time to ask him if he is as willing as you are to risk loosing family and friends over this marriage. Sometimes, people are very much inlove but when they see the real price of going against social norms they realize that it is too diffficult in the end. I would hate for you to possibly spoil your relationship with your family and community over someone that won't be there for you in the long run. Therefore, my first advice would be to wait longer and truly talk about all the possible consequences of your marriage (ex.: how will you support eachother? what will you do if your families don't agree? Is it possible that your family or community will react violently towards you or those close to you? What will you do if this happens? Will you be able to find someone to marry you? Will you have to change religions? etc)

As for convincing your parents, the only way to try to convince them is by talking to them about how you feel and why you've made this decision. There is no real way to convince them, but you can certainly explain your actions and ask them for support. Be ready for the worst, that way if it does happen, you will be prepared. They might react negatively at first but if you and your lover can somehow proove to them that you are serious and mature about your lifelong commitement, they might change their minds in time. You should be willing to be patient and give them the time needed to accept your decision. Show that you are open to negociation (ex.: ask them what you can do to proove that you are really serious about one another) and informed about your decision (ex.: try to find out more about intercaste mariages by searching on the web, use google, for articles, research or organizations on the web that deal with this subject).

As you probably know, the real enemy can sometimes be your own community. Please be careful and read up on the possible consequences of out of caste marriage, that way you will be able to better protect yourself and those you love. If you do feel you will be putting yourself or your family in danger, you might want to revise your plan in order to protect yourself (ex.: runaway, move to another state, etc.) You should base yourself on others peoples experience in order to know what to expect and give yourself the tools needed to overcome all the possible negative, and possibly violent, reactions.