Teenagers wanting to get pregnant

I've been on this site for a while, and sometimes I feel like a broken record. It really breaks my heart to see girls every day ages 14-17 asking how to have a baby, how to trick their boyfriends into have a baby, or saying they want to get pregnant.
I...

tell them how it is, I try and explain how hard raising a child is, the financial burden you go through, the level of maturity it takes to handle a baby, the selflessness it takes. It amazes me though, how they get mad, when you are just giving them advice and your own life experience.
Everything I say to them is not to be mean in any way, it's to try and educate them, to help them, and to show them they are making a huge mistake. I'm not saying anything bad about teen moms, accidents happen, and I think they are strong women to keep the child and raise them. There are some great teen mom's out there. What bother's me is the one's trying to have a child.
I'm 23 years old I have a 3 month old son and I try to give them my perspective on things. It's not easy. I've been called names, told I'm not a good mother, told that I can't care for my child, told that I'm not married so I dont matter, all by these young girls on here.
It amazes me how immature they sound, yet the think they can handle a child.
I understand that they think they want a baby, but wanting one and needing one are two different things. Am I right?

I'm 17 and I have a 14 month old. I was 15 when I had her.. I didnt plan it. but I was willing to make somehting positve of it. but then my boyfriend of over a year cheated on my when I was 4 months pregnant. and my doctor told my I was starving myself to keep my little girl figure and I had stress test twice a week. and I didnt have anyone but my nest friend to get me thru it. it sucked. she is beautiful. and everything happens for a reason. but I miss not having a resposibility. be a teen while you can. cause you will eventually have to go grow up. dont do it unless you have to. be smart when having sex. cause the guy most likely wont be there for u. and it's hard being a single mom that works and goes to school.! and it's stressfel. wait to have a baby! you won't regret it. and your baby will have a better life

Yes you are right! It all boils down to being inmature.

I KNOW RIGHT!
ITS AWFUL ... WHY?... IM 14 AND I DONT WANT KIDS UNTILL IM AT LEAST 20 AND THATS EVEN IF I EVER WANT KIDS!

It's nice to actually hear a younger person agree with me hannahbanana. That rarely happen on here lately.

lacrissadawn
Thank you for that. It's nice to hear from a teen mom about the subject. By the way congratulations and I think your amazing for doing what you have done.

I know a lot of young mothers ages as young as 15.. they all appear to have come from broken families.. maybe its ther way of trying to repair there family.
at one stage when my sister felt alone and insecure she wanted a baby so she could have something to make her feel a bit more whole. Shes now happy she didnt get pregnant and admits to it being an insecurity issue. The thougt of having your own child to love in a lonely life would seem a solution.

That's the problem with a lot of teens. I'm not saying all of them, I'm saying a majority. They want a baby for all the wrong reason's. Too keep their boyfriends. Too have someone who love them unconditionaly. To repair their broken homes. To get their exboyfriends back. It's really sad.
I know the thought crossed my mind when I was younger, but it was never more than just a thought. I had more sense than to bring a baby into the world that I could not myself provide for mentally and emotionally.

well im just a 13 year old, but I had read a artirce about 14-17 teen moms. some does on purpose and some don't. I wonder why the one's that do it on purpose think they take care of babies (even if they have expirence or not). Me I have to take of my almost one year old sister ALL the time, awhile my mom and dad's working. I tell you it's very stressing even though my sister isn't my baby. how? put them to sleep, giving them milk,calm them down from crying to much,change them,bathe,ect...yes wanting one and needing one is...I can't really tell if both are different...wanting one is just wanting one...needing one is maybe your life (20's) is boring maybe needs some company...im not really sure (like I said im only 13) I hope this helped. >.<

I agree with you, on every one of those questions you go through the list of things they will never be able to do, and to them you're just picking on them. It's not picking it's reality. The reality is that if a teen has a baby she will have a harder life, yeah some of them can make it and become great parents but others leave their babies for their parents to raise. Not only is this not fair to the teens parents but it's also not fair to the baby. A baby needs a stable environment to be raised in, normally a teenager can't do that.

I'm a mother of 3, I had my oldest when I was 25. There were times when I didn't think I would be able to do it. I am married and I still have the full support of my parents and to this day I still need help. Having children is not a game or competition and I feel that a lot of them think it is.

To be honest, they're going to think what they want, how they want to, and when they want to and there's not a lot any of us can say about it. If we change just one girls mind then it's worth it.

colethky
Exactly. It's really sad to see this whole "teen pregnancy" trend going around. They have no clue what their getting themselves into.
They think were all being mean when were not. I know there's nothing we can say, it's just so hard to keep calm when you know their making a mistake.

wow I totally see that too now days!!!
I help my mom with my 3 year old brother
and man he's a mess! I mean I love him to peices
but thats a lot of work! I think these girls
need to take care of a baby..or babysittin
to actually know what is the (atleast) 25% of the resonsibility..
and be aware that once they have the kid its going to be
a 24/7 thing!!!

I wouldnt changhe having a baby. because I have to be responsible for my actions. and I wouldnt change being a mother to little girl. but thinking back... I had it made. I had no worries. but I didnt't get to live out my teeneage years. I can't go out with my friends. I do becasue they all love my daughter and they know that its not just me anymore.
And as fas as having a baby to love u. that baby needs love too. and you have to love urself before you can love anyone else!!
and having a baby so your guy will stay. my boyfriend was never gone. we were best friends and I didnt know anything was wrong. so if he won't stay with you now. having a baby isn't going to change that. guys know that you don't have to be together to have a baby.
if it wasn't for havinh my child I wouldv'e married that guy and had three kids and a house and a whole life with him...then he would cheat on me and it would've been worse.
having this baby brought out her fathers true colors. and I'm thankful that I wasn't married and had more kids with him to put thru a divorce. I'm with someone right now that loves me and my daughter more than anything. he misses her when he doesn't see her.
He might not be her dad. but anyone can be a dad. but it takes a real guy to be a father. and he is basically her father figure.

lacrissadawn
Thanks for sharing that. I wish more teens would actually listen to other teen mom's out there.

I agree that these young girls need to wake up and realize that having a baby is very very hard and a very big responsibility. Im 22 and I have a 1 year old she is adorable and very very hard work, me and her dad is still together thank God but between the both of us we are still struggling to take care of her financialy. So I hear what you mean and I think that you are 100% right! Congrats on the new baby also!

it just makes me SO ANGRY!
I'm 17 I would LOVE to have a baby but I will NOT have one because I know for a fact I am not ready. I have an amazing boyfriend who I know would be a good daddy, but that isn't right because I'm not even done school. I don't even have a job right now! I want to live my life, I want to go to college, I want to have an amazing life and have a baby when I am married. before I was with my boyfriend I wasnt thinking this way. I wanted a baby. he changed my mind and knocked some sence into me because he's mature and he really cares about me and my life. the biggest problem I would have right now if I had a baby is the financial issues. I would have to drop out of school to help my baby and I wouldnt have any money. my boyfriend works at bestbuy but its not like thats enough to support a child. I took a parenting class and learned that it would take over $10,000 for the first year of raising a child and the price just goes up each year. I'm also like a complete shopaholic so that would not be too good. I have a lot of experience with infants I have volunteered many times in the nursery and babysitting for friends. I think I would make a good mommy, ONE DAY. but I am simply not ready yet. I hope that some other girls start feeling the same way. I am on birth control I take it every day at the right time and also he doesn't "let go" inside me because he's not retarded like the other guys his age and younger who want babies. (he's 18 btw) ... anyway I've had my share of chatterr. hope someone reads this :P

- Rachel =]