Suicidal thoughts

I had a suicidal thought right now for some reason and a tear came out of my eye and my nose started burning and I thought of my lifes worst (which is a lot) and so I grabbed my pillow and stuffed my face in it as long as I could and about 30 secs into...

it I guess my mom heard the slams of me hitting stuff as I was suffocating and she pulled away the pillow and I said 'I hate you, thank you' and she smacked the crap out of me and I just thought of what my family would do about this and I realized what the HECK WAS I DOING I hadnt thought that much in my life and I just all of a sudden started spazing (having spasms) and my mom just stood there saying get up you iggit I not falling for that and I hurt her I dont know why but now I'm sure she hates me cause she and my dad beat the sh*t out of me. But the real question is " Was that normal?"

Hmm. Sometimes it feels like you're making things up.

NO WAY AT ALL.

Um no. Get help...

You need to see a professinal

What is the root of your need to act out. Rage? Anxiety? Self Pity? See a counselor if you have been emotional hurt in anyway by anyone.

They don't hate you, you terrified them. There is nothing worse to a parent than thinking that your child's life is so miserable that they think it would be better to kill themselves. Trust me. Go see a counselor or a therapist, let them help you figure out whats going on, then if your parents attitude doesn't change, you can look into that farther with your therapist.