Single and pregnant

I was 20 weeks pregnant and I was on my way to Florida. My boyfriend had already been there a month, and had gotten a job. I left to go live with my mom in Alabama less than a full month later because of his drug habits, and the fact that he wasn't...

coming home, or even trying like he promised after every fight that he would. I left to give him the ultimate freedom to decide what he really wanted to do. He was telling me he wanted to be with me, and he was going to move here to Alabama. I am now 31 weeks pregnant, and we are officially over? Although he still says he wants to try. I found out about a week ago that not even three days of being in Florida, away from me (1 full day was on a bus) he was sleeping with his ex "baby momma." Now she's pregnant. They already had a little girl together, she'll be 7 this year, he's got a little boy who will be 3 in Dec. with another woman, a baby boy due in August with me, and now another one due with this girl. He's been deemed a poor parent, and lost his first (but his dad adopted her so he could still keep up with her) and he left the little boy with the mother. He doesn't see either child, he doesn't call to see how they are, and he doesn't pay child support. (I know, I should have known better, but you just don't know until you get burnt). I know he won't be in my son's life because he already shows no interest in him, like helping get things I need for him or just finding out after dr. appts if everything checks out ok. I would really like to see him die for the things he's done to his kids, but seeing as that's not going to happen, how do I do right by my son? I would hate to tell him the truth, and I would love for him to meet his dad, but I'm afraid he'll end up like him. I can't ask his dad to just stay out of his life (So I can have him believe daddy isn't there because he died before he was born...) because he has a right to visit his son. I just need advice and help. I don't want my son hurting by this for his entire life because his father, or, rather, sperm donar, doesn't give a lick about him.

first of all. Even though that guy is the father, he does not need to be inthe child's life for your child to be happy. Well, my boyfriend's father left him when he was 7. Now his mom has been dating this guy for about 8 years and he has been more supportive than his father alone could have been. You can always find a respective guy later on in life who'll cherish both you and your baby more than the "daddy" can.

If not, ask for support from those who care around you. I don't know if any of this makes any sense since im only 15.. lol.

I suppose I don't need to tell you how much of a bad decision you've made. You can blame him for not being in your child's life but yea...if I were you I couldn't help but to think it was my fault. Man, actually I do need to tell you. what the f*ck? Two kids with two other women? That is just lolworthy but I'll laugh later...

On the upside, I can tell you will be a strong mother. Because you see, you are similar to MY mom. My only brother is not even from the same dad, and she's not with his dad either. She told me my dad died when I was 1, and when I was 15, one night she told me she might know who my dad is. Let me tell you, the movies that you see where people want to find out who their father is or whatever are nothing like me. I simply don't care for my father. I've seen my dad once and I basically said I don't want to see him. After living with my mom for so long, I don't want to leave her to be with my father. I did wonder, however, if my mom had lied about anything else and never really trust her as much as I did. Just tell him about his father when he questions about it, even I questioned where my father was. For your own sake, stay strong and don't give in to pressure.

Lol, some people here seem to think they know how I am, but can't begin to wonder why I am. This would play a part in it, yes.

Oh yea, my dad has 3 kids not including me with 3 different women. My brother's dad has 2 kids including him with 2 different women.

On my 13th birthday my mom and dad sat me down and told me that my "dad" was not my real dad, that he adopted me and my real dad lived in another state.

When I found out I was really upset and hurt at first. Why wouldn't my own dad want me? How could he be so heartless to never want to see me?

I just met my real father last april, 9 years after I found out about him. I found the story is very different. My mom didn't want him around me because of the person he was back then. (drugs... multiple women... multiple children...) He has been trying to contact me for my whole life but my mom and adoptive father always cut him off.

I respect my mom for her decision but I was upset that I was lied to and never really told the truth and had to find it on my own. It's a really mature topic for a 13 year old but I think I would have had less turmoil about my real father if I had simply known all along.

So just keep this story in mind.

xox
Sika

in my opinion, the bottom line is, if he is going to put you or your child life in danger in anyway (mentally, physically, emotionally, etc) you need to be as far away from him as possible. your job as a parent is to provide a nurturing, safe, and healthy environment to your child. I wouldn't lie to your child about their father but I would just wait until they can fully understand the situation.

I hope this helps!