She loves me, & she has a boyfriend.

To make a long story short. This woman I have been friends with on and off for over 5 years. Now she has a boyfriend of 2 some years. I've always liked her lots and at this point love her. She has agreed that she loves me too and, in fact says she loves...

both me and her boyfriend. We have gotten together when they were on a break and, she has kissed me again since then when she was back with him. She is still with him and it just hurts me to no end that someone who loves me and I love too is with someone that seems to make her unhappy most of the time.

I have tried to end our friendship thinking its for the better. Better for me cause it hurts like hell to be her friend when I love her and she is with someone else. Better for her so I don't distract her from her boyfriend. I cry about it all the time, yes guys cry over a woman lol. The couple of times I have ended our friendship she ends up contacting me in a week or so saying she needs me in her life and, I crumble like a moron. What on earth am I to do? I have a feeling that she will end up staying with her boyfriend for a long time if not forever. I will end up being the friend that hurts all the time cause I can't have her. I'll end up alone cause I can't even give another person a chance. I will end up the loser here no matter what it seems.

If she really, truly loved you (the right way) she would be with you. True love is being with someone, where you both love each other and both of you give the best of yourselves to a relationship. She says she loves you but she still chooses another relationship over you. You are being a sucker for everything she says. She knows how you feel about her, and she doesnt want to hurt you so she tells you what you want to hear, but the truth is, actions speak louder than words! She is with this guy because...she loves him and not you. You know in your heart the right choice you have to make, and thats the only path you will ever find to happiness! Its going to be very hard, but you have to stop loving her, and give yourself time to heal, because there is someone out there who will show you the kind of love you deserve.

This seems really familiar. Well, I would say either 1.) Tell her your feelings again and tell her all that you wrote her or have her read your question. Or 2.) Give up and move on. Personally one would be easier and she'll either go with you or her boyfriend and if she chooses her boyfriend then give up if not then you'll be happy.

Good luck

I have been telling her everything I wrote. She said she is not ready to give up on her boyfriend yet. When I let her know that I was afraid I would end up alone cause I would wait forever for her. And that chances are I would not give anyone else a chance. She said she will not let me be alone forever. That makes no since, she can't control that.

She just had some outpatient surgery the other day. I wanted to take her to the hospital and be with her. And also be with her after and take care of her. Her boyfriend did the right thing and he took her and was with her. So she did not want me to be there cause it would have been awkward for her. I spent the whole day sad wishing I knew what was going on and was with her. When she called me after she got home I almost cried cause she said her boyfriend was taking care of her. When we got off the phone I did cry for a long time. I should be happy that her boyfriend is doing the right thing. I guess I know the answer now. I lose.

I agree with angelfire.

you can't have your cake and eat it too.
she can't have it all.
she needs to choose-

She needs to choose someone! you cant keep dealing with this

angelfire thanks, I know thats true. I cant get her to leave my life.

your better off just being friends, she might indeed love both of you but she is in love with him. sorry but if she loved you more than him she would be with you. love is hard, and not always easy you might have a place in her heart as do you her, but its not always for the best. if you love someone let them go, if the come back to you it was meant to be. if they dont, they were never yours in the first place. its hard I know good luck though!