Is he just playing a game with me?

My husband has a girlfriend. Naturally I left him but we still have feelings for each other. We've been together for 7 years..and within that, married for 2.5 years. We have 2 sons together. He's been having the affair for 9 months with some ho who...

is 8 years older than him. I'm 27 and he's 26. She even has her own boyfriend and 3 kids. Man my husband is stupid. Anywho..before, he was the bestest boyfriend a girl could ask for, just great. Husband, he sucked because he was still acting like a boyfriend. So I turned into a nag, I know I know but that's what happened. He told me that the affair was not my fault, he says I didnt do anything to deserve that. But then he goes to say that he wasn't happen in the marriage. Then he goes to say that because he wasn't happy, he was confused and though he felt that he would never cheat on me surprisingly he did. In a round about way he says I'm part of the reason he wasn't happy. Soo in my mind I'm thinking duh aren't you saying in a round about way that I'm the cause of you cheating?! But he says "No, nothing you did made me cheat." The entire time he was cheating I felt it in my heart but couldn't prove it until a month ago, and if my heart is right..in 7 years of us being together he has only cheated for the last 9 months of it. Which he admits too anyway. If he was unhappy, he could have just said that he wanted out of the marriage, he didnt have to cheat on me.

Question for the fellas..Is this game? Him talking about being unhappy and confused, is that game or is he just a dog? Is that how men actually resolve problems? Pretend as if everything is ok and then when they can't take the pressure anymore go out on their woman? he says he loves this woman (34 with 3 kids and a boyfriend) now but he still loves me and he is confused. So he's with her still on the low (not too many people know about the affair) because I have cut him off completely, besides seeing the kids. And when I go out he all up in my business about how much fun did I have..men are a trip. So is this game and he's a dog, or do men really go do stupid things because they are confused and unhappy?

Please I need as many replies from the guys (woman too) as possible.

Where is your self respect? You are condoning your husbands cheating when you stay by his side! By staying with someone who has cheated on you, you've essentially taught them that they can sleep with somebody else and you'll take them back. Hes been cheating for 9 mos, you know about it, he says he loves the other girl...why are you still with him??? Dont stay because of the kids, because in the long run it will only hurt them. You cant make a marriage work when only one person is putting in all the effort!

Here are reasons why men cheat(asked by men)
*Your lady doesn't put out
*She cheated on you
*You can get away with it
*It boosts your ego
*The opportunity was there
*Your girlfriend is a nag
*Women let us
*She doesn't turn you on anymore
*don't love her anymore

While men many times have the false impression that they cheat simply to have uncommitted sex, experts say the reasons run much deeper. The following, according to experts, are the real reasons men cheat:

Women Stand For It:

Men wouldn't cheat if women didn't let them. Women marry men who have cheated on them during courtship, even though relationship experts warn that a man who cheats on his fiancee, or even his girlfriend, will probably cheat on his wife. But the reality is that the world is filled with scores of lonely women looking for love. Men are well aware that the loneliness some women feel is so strong that they are willing to settle for a cheater, and write off his scurrilous ways as a simple case of "boys will be boys." At day's end, these women would rather lie down next to a cheater than no man at all.

There's no advice or magic wand to turn a cheater into a prince or princess. Consider them a lost cause and move on. Once you set your standards back where they belong, you'll be able to meet and maintain a relationship with the kind of person you truly want to be with.

This is your life, and your happiness...you can choose to either be truly happy with someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve or live the rest of your life being miserably happy!

You two, together over-complicate this "cheating". Your husband missed certain feeling in your common family life, and found that in a sectret (a little bit silly) affair. Maybe some mother-like behavior is that what he missed, I do not know. But certainly not something sexual extravagance. On the other hand meantime he loved you and your common family. To be good husband and father he needed that crutch that an older woman's company could give him. What exactly? Who knows? And it is even not so interesting. My advice is that do call your husband home, do not be a nag, and if you have humor for that invite that 'older' woman, too, and look in her face, of course in a friendly way. Do not destroy your family.

I do want to save my family but my husband, I told him I wanted to work on the marriage but he says he loves this woman and probably will not give her up wether we're together or not. He says he wants us both, he loves us both. I'm not sharing any man, especially since I know the girl. Its him that has complicated this affair because this is a mutual friend who knew we were married (he'll she was probably at the wedding), and even his own mom has help him out with the affair. I just didnt add this bit of information because I just really wanted to know why he cheated in the first place, is it possible that he's that dumb or is he just a dog.

no, maybe I said it wrong..I was supicious about the cheating..it was only confirmed a month ago. When I asked how long, he said 9 months..I haven't been with him since I officially found out a month ago. So I do have self respect, but I do still love him.

I think im on the list of "your girlfriend is a nag"..ha.

Thanks for everyone's reply, its really helping me out.