My stupid father, how to get the courage to talk to him?

Tjis message is super llong but please read it and bear with me...

My dad is an alcoholic, smoker, and a drug addict... when he lived with us I didn't know it, my mom just barely told me and I can't stand him anymore... I hate him... (not a minor hate, a TRUE hate) he's beaten my mother, he's lied to me and my siblings to try and earn our love back and to try and turn us against my mom... I dont know what to do, I am crying right now... I hate this stupid feeling... the only times I remember truely crying was over my dad and hs stupid mistakes, I feel completely worthless to him...I feel like he loves drugs more than me... if he didnt, why did he beat my mother, lie to us, and start drugs in the first place? that's not my question... I just want to know, how can I get over my dad and build up the courage to talk to him?

He needs to get help and it's not your fault nor your responsability. It's too bad, but at this point he needs intervention. Maybe reporting him to the police will be a wake-up call (and you can do this anoymously). If he knows he has a problem and will admit it (which is unlikely), give him brochures of treatment places. I'm afraid for your safety, frankly, if he's beaten your mom, then he's capable of beating you. If you're under 18, get you and your sibs and mom OUT! Call the authorities.
Remember, it's not your fault and you shouldn't feel guilty. It's also not your responsability to get him help but I can understand why you feel like you need to talk to him. I hope some of this helps. Mostly, he's a danger to everyone around him and himself and that means that officials need to intervene.
Good luck

he doesnt live with us luckily, I dont even know where he lives, I dont know anything about my dad anymore. how can I be sure if all he does is lie to me?

 
You are going to have to learn to understand and forgive him.

You don't know what paths he has had to go down during his life. Possibly those same paths might have caused you to develop some of the same problems he now has.

He definitely needs counseling but probably isn't too likely to get it.

If you are in communication with him then you might stress to him that you really do care about him and that you would like to be a part of his life BUT that he must respect you, your mom and the other children and must avoid lying, violence, drugs and alcohol when he is around any of you.

Have the courage and just be honest, to your father and yourself. I didn't have the courage to talk to my father. He is now out of my life and as much as I'm trying to move on, I really don't have the closure that I would've had if I did talk to him. You can do this.

The short and simple truth is its just a sickness that half of the world deals with everyday, so its really no big deal and it doesnt make you who you are. You make you who you are. Make the best of it and good luck.

I've got the same problem...dad's a drunk, ex-drug addict(cocaine) and used to beat my mom, but all I did was just talk to him, and he stoped doing a lot of bad things once me and my mom left...but now I come on the weekends, and he is fine, all you need to do is just express your feelings to him (MAKE SURE HE IS NOT DRINKING / HIGH!!![I made that mistake...])

just don't give in to your dads bad ways and force him to change if you want his love back

In all respect for you, I think someone stupid in Texas is not going to be stupid very long because with the right to bear arms he will find trouble elsewhere than with you. He is an undue risk for you. Meanwhile if you get a chance to wake him up yourself, perhaps tell him that Davy Crocket died for him at the Alamo if he doesn't believe in Jesus Christ. The root of his problem is not a toothache or a silent requirement at home while you sleep, that's why men need a garage in the backyard sometimes. Don't blame yourself, he can blame your mother for neglecting him or something, tell him as far as I know all men get neglected nowadays. Habitual drugs and booze use are an escape, it can be considered as being cowardly and Texans are not cowardly, not that I am aware of. Your mother is more stable for you right now regardless of marriage vows. Request that he not become a troublemaker because that is not in the interest of liberty. Some people would be rubbing their hands now, thinking of their own gains of a woman and perhaps more. I suggest that you protect your identity for his sake so he can try to rehabilitate himself, perhaps you can help in the time being, but forced detoxificatioin may be required. It is not uncommon and he should make that decision himself, that'd be his liberty. Me well I think that alcohol is just an excuse for abuse from others, regardless of frequency of use, some are busybodies with their own problems I bet Texas has less busybodies but perhaps you need to be one for his sake, daughters are allowed.

OMG... I am so sorry. At least your dad doesn;t live with you any more. He will probably soon realize that you and your siblings want to stay with your mom and he will understand and back off. He needs help but that is not for you to worry about... hope my advice helps

♥ Luv Ya and Good Luck

Helpful_18

To help build up your coarage go in your room by yourself and talk like you would talk to him.If you find out what to say to your dad look him up on the white pages.If you know where he works if he has a job you could look him up on white pages.
I hope this helps!

I would try killin that guy

yeah thank you the person above that's really helpful, im not going to kill my dad! im 13 I couldnt pull it off anyway!

wow this is a toughy..I cant say im in the same situation but its hard for me to tlak to my dad as well. he has a teerible temper. well someday if you can tell he;s sober or if you see. him ask him if you and him can go to dinner or for a walk and just like let him know how you feel but make sure you dont give attitude.then things will get ugly,hope this helped..let me know..and good luck