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What do you think of this poem?

Asked by ana_antidrug 11 months ago, 9 answers.

Please dont be mean LOL. be constructive =]
---

Lifted...

To a place where
All the things I've longed to forget
Fall off me like raindrops
into puddles of honey,
And in that instant
I become weightless
Lost in a moment
Where time and space..
Forget...

who I am.

Until I'm reminded again

Answer | Ask a Writing & Literature question

Answered by guru123 on Dec 18, 2007, 10:40AM
| 166 answers.

uhh..

| 0 of 1 thought this was helpful

Answered by hollihorror on Dec 18, 2007, 12:46PM
| 8 answers.

Its cute (:

Answered by funadvice on Dec 18, 2007, 03:33PM
| 42399 answers.

wow pretty good,
I like its simplicity
there's no problem with it but maybe you should make it a bit longer I little bit more emotion,but that's just my opinion
other then that it's great

AWESOME JOB !!!

Answered by ana_antidrug on Dec 18, 2007, 06:29PM
| 161 answers.

I agree, I was actually thinking the same thing. But then my mind went completely blank, and so I decided to stop. Maybe I'll continue some other time.
Thank you though!

Answered by heathershaw05 on Dec 18, 2007, 07:57PM
| 839 answers.

I like it! Do the puddles of honey symbolize anything in particular? If not, maybe you should change it to something like, "puddles beneath me"... you don't have to if you don't want, it's just a suggestion, I don't want to cramp your style or anything!