Should I have a baby when we both want one?

Im 14 and I want a baby and so does my boyfriend. AND yes I know im young but I know how to take care a baby I raised my little sister when her mom was away for 2 years. A baby would make my life complete. Well I need so advise on this subject

I love your passion and excitement. You have so much love to give that you want to have a baby. That's awesome.

You said that a baby would make your life complete. Why would you say that? I've met many people who think a baby would make their marriage complete. In fact, having a baby is the worst thing for a marriage. It makes the marriage worse. But these people think the baby will make the marriage better.

Similarly, you think a baby will make your life complete because it's the next step forward. And it is one kind of step forward, but school is another kind of step forward, so is college, so is romance with your boyfriend, so is starting a daycare or being an author or being a teacher, so are many other things.

If that baby comes, you will suddenly lose 50 hours out of every week. So you'll have to make tough choices between school or baby; boyfriend or school; boyfriend or baby. The reason you will is because you can only dedicate a finite amount of your time. You only have a certain number of hours. So if you really want to make tough time management decisions at 14 that most of us make at 22, that's your right. But the experiences you will lose include things like: Prom, Spring Break, HS Senior Day. Many teen moms don't get those things because they had to make tough choices, and they had to put the baby above all those things, sometimes even their boyfriend.

What matters most is that you posted your question on here. You are looking for answers and asking the people around you for an opinion. I always listen to other people's advice because if they all say the same thing, then I'm probably making a mistake.

u want a baby? no you dont!! baby's are cute but they are hell!!

I have a 2 y/o son. you dont want a baby.. they're cute and fun when you can give them back when you are too stressed out.. or need a break.. when they're your own child you cannot pawn them off.. im only 18 and I wish I could have gone back. I realize I may not be able to give my son the ebst life but im trying. its hard. but trust me no you dont! just wait!!

Are you crazy? You Do Not want a baby at 14 years old and neither does your boyfriend. All he wants is to get you to sleep with him is all. If you go off and get pregnant I guarantee you will regret it because you will not be a good parent that young, you will want to go out and hang with your friends and party, and you will never have anything nor will your child. Oh and your boyfriend will dump you like a hot potatoe too. Do not have a baby till you are mature and old enough to know what you are doing. I could go on all day about it but answer to your question is a huge NO.

You are too young. Enjoy being single first. Finish college.

Having a baby is a HUGE decision and no matter what people say, babies need more than love. A lot more. They need a home. Do you have your own home? (Im assuming you live with your parents. Do you think its fair to bring a baby into their house? It is THEIR house not yours). They take money and lots of it. Do you both have jobs to pay for the clothes, diapers, food, daycare, doctors bills. I get the feeling that you are expecting your parents to "Help you out" and thats not fair. Not to your parents and not to the baby.

You have a lot of good breeding years in you. Most women stay fertile until their mid-40's. There are things you are going to want to do with your life and you are not going to have the freedom to do these things with a baby. You cant just get rid of a baby when you get bored or when you have other things to do. They keep growing and they need more and more and more from you. Remember they dont stay babies! Think about it. Do you want to be a 24 year old woman with a 10 year old to care for?

Slow down. You are 14 years old and 1 guarantee you that your boyfriend is not going to be the love of your lofe. There is whole world out there to discover. Dont go screwing it up!

I waited until 1 was 32 to have a child and Im so glad I did.

Dear jazzybabes1,
well your life is not complete because you still have school, career, several relationships and life to live yet. Something is missing in you at the moment and you think this will give you what's missing. But it isn't a baby that's missing there is something else missing. You need to seek out counselling..talk with a school counsellor or make an appointment at the health clinic to see a counsellor there..believe me they will have you seeing what you really need in no time.
Sue..good luck

I would wait till your still a little older cause your still in school and having a baby could affect not doing good in school and then when your older you'll still find yourself working at McDonalds or some other grocery store or fast food place. you don't want that. also having a baby at such a young age can effect your baby also.

No NO NO! you don't want s-e-x!! at 14 it sounds fun but no!

What are you smoking??

You are 14 and want a baby?
Are you wanting to throw your whole life away?

see if you have a baby you gain weight and then you cant fit into all those cool clothes you have or hang out with your friends because you will be too busy taking care of a child.

Not to mention you are 14 years old, you arent old enough to get a job ( a decent job) that will make enough money to support a baby.

How would you feel when you have to buy diapers instead of clothes or make-up.

You are 14 and still a child and dont need to be taking care of one.

Finish school, go to college, get settled in a good job, find the right man and then have kids.

for now GET A KITTEN!!

No, you absolutely should not have a baby right now. If you really want a baby, then do what is best for the baby, wait.

At 14, there is no way you will be able to pay for a baby.

Are you still in school? If so, then how would you care for a baby if you are at school at day? If you're not in school, then what do you have to offer and teach a baby?

It's ok to want a baby, but you have be mature about it. You can't be selfish. No matter how much you want a baby, you have to wait until you can actually care for that baby.

You know what's fun about helping to raise someone elses kid? Being able to give it back when they get all fussy. When you have a kid of your own it's different. You'll always be the one waking up in the early morning to feed the kid, to change diapers, to do everything. I think you should really think things out. Think about the money, time, love and care the baby needs.

It's your life and ultimetley your decison. I just think you should think things out throughly.

Honey you are only 14 years old and you know that you and your boyfriend are not prepared to start a family at this age. When you have a baby it will probably effect your childs life and yours too! Because you will have to miss certian days of school because its sick or like you will be super tired and stuff. you should wait until you find the right guy and get married first but choose smartly..Also, if you have a baby at this age, the reason why it will effect your childs life is because it will be right up to your age. only 14 years apart isnt right. wait until your atleast 18.. or even older. that would be better. make good choices and be careful. ok?

you only THINK you want a baby. I am a teen too and have no desire for kids any time soon. you have your entire life ahead of you. high school, college, a career to start. when you throw a baby into the mix things will fall apart. who will care for it while your at school? and how do you know your boy friends serious. think.. will this relations ship last forever? will he stand by you through the entire prosses? or will he run as soon as he hears your expecting? you have a lot of time to think this through. but wait, and make sure what you choose is the write decision. talk to your parents about your feelings, believe it or not, they DO know whats best.

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no def not I know I wanted a baby at 14 too I want to kill it now *joke I would never kill her* there cute and all but.. a lot to take care of I mean anyoe can change and feed a baby most people can get up in te middle of the night too but whos going to pay for it? dipers and food and a bed and doctors .. GIVING BIRTH OMG lol dont recmend it but do what you want to..

You really shouldn't have a baby this young! I've always felt maternal and since the age if 10 wanted a baby! The kids I babysit I have been with them changing there nappys since I was 8! I always used to be like you, thinking it would be perfect! But you think about when your older! Renee, a women a can talk about eveything to give me a reality check! When your 18 you baby will be 4! You would miss out on a hole chunk of your life! Just stay young! don;t rush things! you have the rest of your life to make big Desisions like this! I know it's your choice and you have to do what you feel is right! But don't rush things! You could end up ruining your life!

look shawty you 14 and want a baby?? you may know how to raise one but its hard as hell to actually do it me im 15 and I got to 1 yr old and I love that kid to death but its hard as hell to raise and support him so I think you should wait

OK LOOK girl I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD WAITE.. A BABY IS a lot OF WORK AND WHEN THEY GET OLDER THEY are EVEN MORE WORK, I MEAN LOOK AT YOUR SELF YOU are probably STILL ASKING YOUR MOM 4 MONEY TO GO TO THE MALL, THE MOVIES OR what NOTS.. you SAID A BABY WOULD MAKE YOUR LIFE FEEL COMPLETE.. TRUST ME IT WONT.. I BEEN BABY SIT MY SISTERS KIDS FOR THE SUMMER THEY R 2 AND 5 AND IM 17 AND I CAN BARELY HANDLE THEM FOR 8 HOURS A DAY TOGETHER, AT THE END OF THE DAY IM READY TO GET RIDE OF THEM SO I CAN LAYDOWN AND GO TO SLEEP.. I DONT SEE MY BOYFRIEND AS MUCH CUASE IM TIRED AND READY TO GO TO BED.. AND THEY GO HOME SO I CANT AMGINE WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE A BABY ALL DAY EVERY DAY FOR 18 YEARS..I MEAN I KNOW what YOUR TALKING ABOUT YOU want to FEEL COMPLETE .. I DID TO ABOUT 6 MONTHS BACK I WANTED TO BE LOVED BY MY BOYFRIEND.. AND YEAH I WANTED A BABY because OF THE FACT HE WAS LEAVEING ME TO GO IN TO THE NAVY.. I THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE HIM STAY WELLI WOULDNT OF AND I DIDNT RELIZE THAT HE WASNT GOING IN THERE 4 HIS SELF HE WAS GOING THERE 2 MAKE A BETTER LIFE 4 EACH OF US.. JUST WAITE TILL YOU GET OLDER AND I KNOW you HATE TO HEAR THIS BUT you REALLY DONT KNOW what LOVE IS.. MEAT NEW PEOPLE AND YOU'LL SEE what IM TALKING ABOUT

I don't think you are ready for a baby. A baby is permanent. A baby needs, deserves, a mother and a father, who are committed to each other, who are able to support the child's need as he or she grows up. A baby deserves to be loved for the gift of the baby him- or herself, not for what they give the mother or father.

You need to grow much more yourself until you are ready for a life-long commitment, for the self-less love a baby deserves. I know you feel grown up now. We all do. Then, a few years later, we all look back and think how immature we were. (I don't mean just as teens. This happened in my 20s, my 30s, and my 40s. It would happen longer, I suspect, but I haven't getten there yet!

I beg you, for your sake, and for the sake of your child (or children), please, please, Please: wait on having a baby.

Most girls have that maternal instinct. Why do you think they make dolls for little kids? YOU ARE NOT READY FOR A FREAKING BABY!! Yes, they may be cute, but they are difficult, and will change your life forever. Can you handle that? No more partying (although you're 14, doubt you've ever even been to a party), no more hanging out with your friends for countless hours, no more video games or whatever it is you do in your spare time.

The baby would come first in your life above everything and everyone else.

You're 14, barely even in highschool. Still think it's a good idea? It's not like you can financially support a child without your parents help. Even with their help it will be a struggle and most likely downhill battle.

Be smart, please. Before you try to have a kid, you might want to get married. Oh, yeah, that requires that you wait another 10 years or so.

Also.. you will NOT have the same boyfriend for very long. I went through several boyfriends going through highschool.. not because I was a slut, or couldn't commit. That was just it - I COULD commit and wanted to be in a mature relationship, and I'm sorry but guys your age aren't ready to handle all of that. Most guys even my age aren't ready. So don't get lost in "puppy love" thinking you're going to be with this guy forever. Cause you won't. Guarantee you.