I've been stuck on a ex for 3 years its so painful!!

Im a 17 year old girl. And ever since I was 14 I've been stuck on my ex boyfriend. WE went out for about 5 months and I loved him he was the only guy I ever loved and the last month I was wit him I cheated twice. he was soo mad he had never spoke to me...

again. I would try to I/m him or contact him but I started to feel like a crazy ex girlfriend.I recently spoke to him online about a month ago and its really big deal bc I havent spoke to him in so long. He ask how I was and I sent him a hot picture of me I wanted to cath his eye and I did butnow I think he might be only wanting to''hang out'' so he can try and sleep with me. Ever since we he was a virgin when we went out he was different and I think I may have changed him. He hasnt been in any serious relationships since then. His dad handed over to him a million dollar business and I think he uses his money to make him happy he always goes to strip clubs and he seems to buy into girls pants.It sounds soo sad but I think he just doesnt want to get hurt. He said he wants to hang out again the first time was fun and he seemed respectful but we were with a group of people im kinda scared to be alone with him not that he would force anything on me but I just dont want to get hurt. I was thinking about maybe ignoreing the whole situation but I kkno I will go on un happy and never knowing if it would have worked. its just soo hard bc everthing is soo akward and scary. if you could please help me !!!!!! im starting to get soo depressed im afraid I might relapse with drugs .

1st of all lemme just say drugs arent the answer. Honestly with this guy's new found wealth it doesnt sound like he wants committment. AND WHATS WRONG WITH THAT. the world is a big place. Yes I think he has changed and doesnt want a serious relationship espically since hes living the single life so damn well. My question to you is if you guys started dating would you feel disappointed if thats all the relationship will ever be? I think that you cant just "be unto urself" but you should try. Because you dont ALWAYS have 2 have a bfriend. I mean why did you cheat in the 1st place? Obiviously cause you were unfufilled. so how can you b sure that no1 will get hurt again. Again I dont know you so you could b the 1 2 turn things around. But do you really think by the way hes living he wants to be tied 2 one person

I agree with the comment above...drugs ARE NEVER the answer! and your 17..? I think if you have doubts with being alone with him then you shouldnt b questiong wanting or not wanting to be with him...and if you love or loved him so much why the hell did you cheat on him...twice?? I personally think if you do love him and dont want to hurt him...again then go for it but you can also be the one getting hurt so be careful he might not ready for another relationship he seems happy or maybe sad, but hiding it...