How to stop being so scared of my dad?

hi,

I've been adopted for 12 years now. recently my 3 1/2 sisters got into contact with me through friendsreunited. this I thought was good until tonight about an hour ago I was tlking to one of them and they said that my real mum was there and wanted...

to no if I wanted to ask any questions. So there I was asking questions and then I asked one about something that happened to my full big sister. she was raped by my real dad aged 8. I just wanted to no if it was true and that my sister hadnt got muddled up. I was told it was true.

Then she droppped one HUGE BOMBSHELL she said that my dad had raped my too. when 1 was 5 years old. I can't stop crying and cant go 2 sleep because im scared he'll come and do it again. he was put in jail for child abuse when I was 5. but he's been our the last 10 years.

all I want advice on is what can I do to stop feeling so dam scared now.

I dont want any sympathy for it, as I must of done something for my own dad to of done this horrble thing to me. I just blame myself for it.

pooratty

you have to be in the right mind set to see one. If you are going and dont really want the help then a therapist wont help. If you want to feel better, and want the help, and do not want to suffer.. then see one.. See a different one then who you saw before.. You have to be open and willing to get the help you need

Pooratty,
You need to understand that no matter what you may have done to "deserve" what your father did, he had NO right to do it.
Nothing any child could ever do deserves to have that happen to them.
The only person to blame in this situation is YOUR FATHER, not you.
As for what to do in this situation.. Do you have an adult that you trust that you could talk to about your situation?
Maybe living at your current home isn't the best thing for you, mentally or physically.
I suggest consulting a therapist.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to message me!

Please seek professional help to deal with this - I think it's too big for you to handle alone - I can't understand why she would tell you that when it serves no good purpose at all - keep in mind, for whatever reason, this may not be true (vendictive or a misguided attempt to make herself look good), I simply don't know - I'm so sorry you're being put through this emotional pain...I wish you the very best and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

You dont have a reason to be scared. He has been out of jail for quite some time and hasnt come after you...

And further I think amblessed has a point.. this could be or not be true. At five you would remember something like that or your mind blocked it out.. whatever the case is.. seek some therapy for help. They will help you to get to the bottom of it, work out the pain, and find out what did happen.

Dont fear. Dont worry. Just get the help so that this does not eat at you for the rest of your life.

They're right - there's no way this was your fault - 5 year olds (and all kids and in fact probably all victims) are in no way to blame for anything like this.

They're right about getting some help too.

I'm praying for you as well...

You have no reason to be scared. If this may be a sociological problem maybe you could see a therapist.

I really don't want to see a therapist. I have seen one in the past about cutting myself. And it never helped even after 2 years of seeing one.

Try the book the Courage to Heal also the book The Right to Innocence.

I know Barnes and Nobles carries the Courage to Heal extended version in their self help section. Just saw it a few days ago.

They can help you sort through the feelings you have and find some answers. You'll be surprised at a lot of behaviors or thoughts you might have being explained and validated.

I was raped by my dad from about age 4 to age 19. I was too scared to do anything about it. I hate going to therapists too, but you'd be surprised at the effects that childhood sexual abuse can have on you.

If you want to chat, feel free to funmail me.