How do I know if my teen daughter is doing drugs or having sex?

I want to know if she is having sex or doing drugs. I dont want her to know that I am wondering about this yet. I just need some clues to help me figure it out.

Take her to the doctor's office, ask for a blood and/or urine drug screening. I don't know how to tell if she's having s*x.

you shouldnt be spying on her because when she finds out your the one in trouble not her . mayby she will be planing on telling you just not now. here is the answer to your question talk to her and tell her how you feel and what your thinking.

First--it is ABSOLUTELY your right as a mother to snoop through her things and spy on her! It's your responsibility to keep her safe and make sure that her activities are healthy. So don't listen to any of these kids around here telling you otherwise! Get your butt in her room. Read her diary, go through her drawers--learn who she is and do it without shame! You don't have to tell her that you did these things if you don't want to cause more problems, but it will at least give you a compass to know where to go.

IT's really hard to tell if your kids on drugs if you haven't really been exposed to people on drugs, or done them yourself. Me, I can spot a stoner kid a mile away. Also a meth kid or coke kid. Kids these days are mostly on pot or meth--they are cheap and easy to get. So focus on figuring out those two first.

The best, absolute best way? Make her a batch of her favorite cookies or dinner, clear everyone from the house for the evening and sit down as her mother and talk to her. Ask her about sex and drugs and boys and friends and tell her you just want to see how her life is going. If it doesn't go well, do it again the next week. If it still doesn't go well, do it again the next week. Do it every week, the girl will eventually realize you care for real and will want to open up to her mom. Don't be judgemental if she has had sex or done drugs or punish her or fly off the handle. Make sure she's being safe, tell her what your wishes are, but realize she is at the age where she's going to do what she wants, regardless of what you say. make home a safe haven for her--not some place she is trying to escape.

Ask her non-confrontationally and just in a loving way to get to know your daughter. SH'ell open up to you.

Depending how old she is, it's not really any of your business if she's having sex unless she wants to tell you. Heck, my parents were cosntantly explaining safe sex to me before I was a teen and honestly, they are the last people I'd go to. If she over the legal age she can do what she likes in terms of sex and it's nothing to do with you. You have no legal say or control over whether she does or doesn't sleep with a guy (or girl). certainly she'll realise things have been moved wither you mention it to her or not if you snoop in her room and she'll trust you less for it. The best thing and onl thing you have a right to do is say she better be practising safe sex if or when that's the case cause you'll kill her if she's contracts a dangerous life threatening STD. Tell her you'd like her do be able to come to you but you realise it's not your choice and you have no say. ignore all the above if she's underage and have a safe sex chat. if she's ignoring the law warn her the guy better be worth it.
The other part, the drugs? You'll notice the smell if she's smoking a herbal drug. And you'll notice the behaviour if it's a a stronger drug in pill form or injected. Again threaten to kill if she contracts any dangerous diseases from injecting. Suprisingly kids appreciate the fact you care even though they get the feeling they'll be in trouble if they get caught.
Not sure about your laws but ours say if drugs belonging to your child are found on the property and you didn't call the cops asap when you first became aware you can lose the property and face charges of criminal negligence for not reporting illegal drug use or seeking pyschological assistance such as drug rehab for the child.
Sounds harsh again but if it's legal drugs again none of your business. The law asserts the childs right to independence cause parents would never let go on their own.

It's good for a mother to have an open line of communication with their children. Talk to her about it. Make her feel comfortable with you. Make her feel she can talk to you about this. The safer she feel, the more she'll confide. Don't make her feel as if she will be in trouble. To me, trouble wasn't nearly as bad as my mom being dissapointed with me.

Well I dont think its any of your buisness if she wanted you to know she would tell you like me and my mom I am 17 and I have told my mom everythin about everything since as far back as I can remember

Birds of a feather flock together, so take a close look at her friends. I started having sex, drinking and smoking pot at the tender age of 13. None of my friends did any extracurricular activity, unless you counted detentions. My friends were always really nice, so you can't go by their attitude(attitudes of teens dont always tell you anything anyway), but more by their actions. If they are drinking, drugging or having sex, it is likely they wont have any interest in school or old activities they used to enjoy. also make sure you know your child's friends' parents. I hope this helps you some,
Oh, yeah, my mom read my diary, found out I was having sex with a boy who was 18 (I was 15)and she tried to take him to court for statitory rape. (The judge threw it out because my mother couldn't produce the diary.) Don't ever do that, I wish she had just talked to me about it, or had she said nothing and just kept a closer eye on me I would have continued to write in my diary unaware. I hated her for reading it and taking such drastic steps, but had she reacted differently, it would have made a world of difference. Good Luck!!

as a teenage girl, I advise you to be careful haw nosy you get. its good to know that shes making good decisions in her life, but you dont want her to think that youd dont trust her either.

Open up and tell her about your past ... it will make her feel more comfortable...

listen I am an expert at figuring out things like that. I am in recovery myself and I've seen it all mood swings , less interest in hobbies or school , different friends are all the first signs. you can bet on that!!

well I wouldnt be too forward about it. dont act accusing if you confront her either. try to be understanding, and remember all the stuff you did when you were her age. maybe share some of your wilder teenage stories. basically, just make things as comfortable as possible, and dont make it seem like she'll be punished if she does those things, but dont leave out all of the consequences that could happen as a result. my parents were funny. my mom said when my brothers were in their teens, she bought condoms and put the on their beds. she didnt want to know if they were doing it, but if they were, then at least they would be safe. lol. I dont know if I would do what she did, but she is very trusting of us.

The people saying it is not any of your business are probably kids about your daughter's age. It is absolutely your business what she is doing at all times while she is a child. Kids think they hit 15 or 16 and they are adults, but the are NOT. It is your responsibility to your child to not let her get pregnant, and not make you a grandparent before your time. You have to have open communication with her. Sit down and talk to her.

But its not her job to show that she doesn't trust her daughter, thats the last thing a daughter wants to hear from her parent. Don't shove useless consequences in your daughters face. I am 14 and I feel that having parents disappointed with me is much worse then consequences. You can snoop if you like put DO NOT overdo it. Thats when you start loosing the respect and trust from your troop and that dangerous territory. Just watch her for a while and talk to her calmly..DO NOT cut her off..EVER!! If there is one thing that I can tell you from my experiences, it is to listen to her and see everything in her eyes before you act. Hope this helps..

coming from a teens perspective usually the kids whose parents do spy on them and look in there things are the ones who dont tell their parents. shes not going to come to oyu if your going to just punish her. and if she does find out your snooping around then she'll know your suspicious which wont make ehr come forward either. instead of easking her about it ask her what she thinks about using drugs and listen ot what she says without getting mad. its important for kids to be able to share things with their parents without worrying about getiing in trouble. or they'll never tell oyu.

It is never a good idea to snoop. If she catches you, which is very possible, it will show your daughter you don't trust her and this will just make her rebel. Honesty is always the best way. Sit your daughter down and tell her you want to know if she's sexually active or is doing drugs. Don't say it in an accusing way. Simply tell her that you need reassurance that she's okay, and that instead of snooping, you want to hear it from her. You may think she will be tempted to lie, but in this situation, if you're careful and unaccusing, most kids will answer honestly. It may be scary/embarassing to talk to your daughter about that, but think how much worse it would be if she got pregnant, or ODed. This is how my mother raised me and my sisters, and I have never done drugs, and I only lost my virginity last year, to my wonderful boyfriend of 3 years.
In the end, it's ultimately your decision how to deal. Remember that this is just my opinion, and you know your daughter in a way I never can.

Love & Luck!

are you the parent of a teen? do you and your teen have a great open relationships and can talk about anything--including their sexual activity? if so, a new national television talk show wants to hear from you! please email kristen at Fun mail me asap! thanks!

One I am 13 and if you sneak around and snoop in her stuff and she found out she probably be more likly to tell you less than if you didn't snoop and if she is 13 or older and has a boyfriend chances are shes had s*x and if he is you can talk to her about safe s*x and stuff like that and she could be more open with you most of me and my friends had had s*x but not done drugs

maybe just sit down and have a talk with her.

First of all don't go snooping around and spying on her thats a way to get her to not trust you and not have any respect for you. You should just talk to her and tell her how you feel, getting her to trust you and talk to you will make her feel close to you. I don't have a mom but I have grandma who spy's and sneaks around and that only gives me more of a reason to hide things I don't think she wouldn't be happy knowing. I'd rather have my children coming to me for help rather than her teenage friends who don't know much. If your daughter is doing drugs it isn't that hard to notice, but if you do find out shes doing drugs don't go to hard on her because it will pressure her to run away, and it will make things worse. Today kids are having sex and doing drugs at young ages and nothing can really stop them. I've seen friends doing drugs at school having sex on the school bus and other things. I'd rather have my kids drinking in my house where I can watch them and make sure everything goes fine rather then them seeking off at night, ditching school, staying at places they shouldn't be at, or even doing bad things at school. Being a parent shouldn't have to be about restricting your kids or stalking them, parents are suppose to show their kids that they will always be there for them, someone who will give them advise about ANYTHING, and keeping their kids safe. I am 16 and I've done almost every drug and has had sex. I'm someone a parent wouldn't like to have and I had the strictest parents who kept a close watch on me. Snooping and spying wont stop your kid from doing what they want.

you sound like an annoying mom. shut up.. go away. :D

GIVE HER F***ING SPACE