Here's another song I wrote, how is it?

:Losing You"
v 1: A quiet and lonely night
in restless hours I'm dreaming
and praying with all my might
but you can't hear me screaming

pre-ch:Oh misery forgive me,
pity and release me
I suffer without you
when I fear I'm losing (you)

ch:you...

hold my hand
you give me strength
you help me stand
and at my length
you give me hope
and give me serenity
so how should I cope
if you stop loving me

v 2: Once again, deafening silence
that shatters peace of mind
and I'm left to pay penance
of my soul, only to find
I'm left my cross to carry
a burden leaves me straining
the look on my face is scary
as in agony I'm screaming

pre-ch2 : Oh misery forgive me please
I'm pleading on bloody knees
I've made so many mistakes
the responsibility is more than I can take
Oh misery forgive me
pity and relieve me
I suffer without you
when I feel I'm losing (you)

ch2: you hold my world up
when I'm falling down
you keep my head up
when I hit the ground

br: and I've nothing to fear
but I thought you should know
that when you're not near
I fear I'm letting go
and the ledge I cling to
narrows and fades away
and I'm praying that you
would come sweep me up today
cause I fear losing
and it's not my choosing
I fear I'm losing
fear I'm losing you...

amazing :]
again wonderful writer!

AHHH THATS SO SWWEEETTT

I think it's too long for a song (too many words). Also, I don't like the part where you say 'You give me this' and 'you give me that'. That's Ch and also Ch2.

It seems like you're depending on someone to make you whole but even so, if they're giving you all these things you say, why do you fear that you are losing them? To me, it's not believable.

If you could let me know what the story is really about, then I can let you know if I feel that you are conveying that.

I think it has a lot of potential, just needs a little tweaking.

What this song basically relates to is the phrase "You never really know what you've got until it's gone", but I had the fortune of figuring it out beforehand and didn't do anything about it so I was lost in reflection.

I hate that feeling you're describing...when you feel like it's all slipping away. it's like you can't do anything about it because it's not just your choice. ugggh.

anyways, you described a miserable feeling with great accuracy.

ita Awesome. I love it! =>