Here's another poem for your critique.

"Dictator"
A return to the pages/where it all began
to surmise my life,/the mess I'm in.
I've sacrificed my freedom/to your dictations again,
I pay for it in blood/and I pay for it in pain.
You treat me like I'm/a punching bag you beat
to take out your...

frustration,/I'm finally fed up with it.
You tell me to try/harder to act my age
but I don't abuse others/when I'm in a rage.
There's no shame in/walking away to cool off
as a matter of fact/so do my parents when they've had enough.
You'd rather argue/and condescend
so who acts their age now?/This is the end,my friend.

oh wow, this is very sad!
Its got a good point though
you use a lot of good vocabulary that really help get the point across
I love it! nice job

Here's my thoughts:

I think if you are going to use rhymes, try to make sure that they do rhyme. I noticed a few of them were off somewhat.

Use more spacing so it will be easier to read.

Try not to use too many pronouns such as 'I', 'I'm', 'I've and 'You', 'Your', 'You'd'.
(I realize that it's hard not to here, but just keep an eye on it when writing the next one, mmKay)? Me, being silly. =^u^=

There is a story and that means a lot.

A little late, but as promised,
Katwoman

please right more I like they are soo good and mean a lot