Coping with a death

Yesterday, my friend passed away in a one car accident. This is the first death that has really hit 'close to home' for me. I am 17 years old and have never had anyone close to me die before but all of a sudden one of my best friends is swept out from...

under my feet. I am so confused. I cried all day yesterday but woke this morning almost as if nothing happened. I've barely thought about it. I feel as if I am letting it go too easily and should still be grieving. Can anyone give any advice and/or personal stories that might relate to this to help me figure out why I feel this way?

Wednesday was the funeral for one of my really good friends, he was killed when the rebeles raided our camp in Afghanistan I hadnt talked to him in months since well he was stationed far away and they only get so many phone calls and he only had a week or so left before he got to come home...when I got the call I was just like "OK tell me when and where to be and ill be there" but when I told my brother (who enlisted with him) and he was like "OK" I thought everything was going to be OK...about two hours later I got a phone call from my brothers roommate saying that he had gone missing (now im near Chicago and hes in El Paso TX) they found my brother running around in cirlces just crying cause he didnt know what else to do...it hit me that he wasnt going to be coming home...and then when Pruits funeral came, the moments before I was still OK I hadnt really cried yet...til they closed the casket and it finally hit me that thats the last time im going to see him...but we are dealing with it...the best thing to do is think about how they are in a better place and that God only takes people when he needs them...
its really hard to think that good things can come out of something liek this but you just have to look at the positive...
its possible that you just have not had to look at things in the face yet and that why it doesnt seem to hit you yet...what youre oging through is totaly normal so dont worry about it at all alright?
Let me know if you want to talk more
feel free to message me
Caitlyn
PS I truely am sorry for your loss

First off, I just want to say that I'm real sorry that you lost your friend.
It sounds like it hasn't really hit you yet and you should know thats completely normal. I was extremely close to my grandmother and when she passed away, I cried a little, but it didn't really hit me until after my grandfather died.
Sometimes it takes a lot longer for other people to grieve. Some people grieve in different ways. There's really no text book way to grieve a loss of someone close to us so don't feel like you're doing something wrong. You'll grieve in your own way, in your own time.

I did the same thing when my friend died of cancer, and the doctor told us she was getting better and she should be cured... well instead she died. I was so mad I didnt understand all of a sudden one day she felt sick so her family took her to the hospital and she died the next day.

"I cried all day yesterday but woke this morning almost as if nothing happened. I've barely thought about it. I feel as if I am letting it go too easily and should still be grieving."

I did the same thing, it's natural. My dog just died today too... so I'm really sad. She had a stroke and multiple seizures.

But don't worry about it dear, it will pass but I'll tell you, you will never fully get over their death, you will heal, but not completely. You will always miss them, but just think of your happy memories. Thats what I do, and it makes me cry yes, but it makes me happy too. Life goes on, and everyone dies, me and my dad had a very personal talk about death and life today. It brought us closer. Think of the good times and you will eventually feel better.

Hope I helped, I feel for you very much. <3 *hugs*

my sis past from cancer, and I still cry some time's, but I know I got to do what I got to here, so remember them for the good times you had with them and keep on liveing, I know it's hard to lose some one close we do it's part of life, do the best you can.

my grandfather died and I cried a lot cause I was there when he died..I went back into our house to tell them the news, me and my sis are crying..it was funny cause I just found myself watching queen concert on dvd, it was played already there and yes, one thing I knew I wasnt crying or grieving anymore. I didnt know what happened and I didnt even cried on his funeral when everybody was crying...it was weird..

If you need someone to just listen, just talk to, or pray with you:

24 hrs: 1-800-488-4673

Helpful site:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

Everyone grieves differently. You will hear a lot of that. There are no set rules about how you should act or what you should feel. Those close to you may act differently towards you for a while. Partly it will be because they don't know what to say and partly because they are waiting for it to hit you.

You will be in my prayers. Feel free to fun mail me.

my friend died on january 31, 2008... I will never forget the day after.. I had gotten my phone taken away the day he died so I had no idea that it even happened.. the next day at school my friends were upset so I was trying to figure out why.. then ben told me that he was dead.. well I am a person that believes anything I am told and they played this joke on my before and said he was dead and I started crying.. then he came out from behind the corner and hugged me.. so I thought this was another game.. when I finally found out it was real.. I fell to the ground.. I didnt no what to do.. I told him everything about me.. he was one of my best friends.. he was suposed to come hangout with me the day he died but I told him I had to go see my ex.. he was mad but understood.. I still get upset to this day cause I always have that thought in my head that I could have saved him.. if I wouldnt have gone to see my ex.. he would have been at my house and none of this sh*t would have happened..

I haven't personally gone through this kind of experience yet, but I have this friend... Her best friend died in a car crash when she was 16. She was really sad about it at first. So then she was trying to figure out what to wear to the funeral, and she went as far as dialing the phone number of her best friend before she realized, "Oh, wait... It's HER funeral." I guess it's pretty normal to not realize what's happened. When my dog died, I even went to her gate everyday for awhile before it really sank in. But anyway, I know that girl and how she is today. She is one of the happiest, optimistist, people I know, and she has a lot going for her. I guess it takes time for everyone to see that their friend is really gone. I'm very sorry about your friend. I know things are looking up for you though.
God Bless :]

The way people deal with death is as individual as they themselves are. You may have times when the emotional loss of your friend will hit you so hard that you'll feel like you're going lose it. People might say," ah get over it already". You may take a long time or even a short time to deal with this terrible loss. The point is that you remember that person and what they meant to you. It's very sobering when we lose someone close us. I'm sorry for your loss.
My personal experience, a friend of mine when we were about 15 or so shot himself in crowded park. There were others but that one sticks out the most for me.
Take care.

awww babeee im sad, but yuool be fine, just kiip yoor chin up

im so sorry. in my prayers and in my wishes ill hope you feel better

Death, esp. for someone young, can be very frightening, and give one such a sense of uncertainty. When it comes, quickly, and unexpectedly, it is most devastating. It rocks our world. We are never the same. We see things differently. Everything takes on new prespective.

We greive, and that expresses itself in several diff. ways. First, we are in shock, sometimes in denial, other times, we are angry, sometimes we are just sad, all of this is important in dealing with a sudden loss of anykind, esp. death. Divorce oftentimes has the same effects, and we go thru the same process.

The last stage is acceptance, and being able to move on. It is possible to get stuck in the grief, however, this is rare. Most people are able to cope effectively, and move on, carrying their precious memories with them.

Give yourself time, that is what is needed most, and try to stay away from stressful situations, at least until your emotions have a chance to recover, from this loss.

Wishing you the very best...

I am 16 and my best friend passed away almost 2 months ago. He was onli 14 I knew him for 7 years, half his life. We were real close. He was always like my little brother to me. Since im an only child it ment a lot to me. We did everything together. He told me everything. Then one day I call his cellfone and his mom picks up crying. Telling me he hung himself. It all felt unreal to me I just couldnt understand why. I just started bawling into tears. I cryed and cryed that day. Hating God for taking away my best friend. He wasnt suposse to die so soon. We had so much planed. We were supose to be best friends forever. The next day I woke up and it still didnt hit me that I was never going to see my best friend again. but the more I thought about it the more it made me realize that it wasnt a dream it really happend. Two months later it still catches me off gaurd and I have to stop and cry. I miss him so much. I never lost a friend before, and I dont know how to deal with this yet either.