Confused- swear she is pushing me to leave her....

Right, I am 17 being going out with my girlfriend for 8 months, knew her well from regularly windsurfing with her for the past 3 years. She is my first proper girlfriend and took my "v-bug", shes slightly younger but has had 5 or so partners before so is...

quite a bit more experienced in relationships. She is pretty firey and a classic leo, increadibly competitive and im starting to feel she is pretty opinionated. Her runs some anti-domestic violence stuff and her parents are going through a pretty hard divorce so there is quite a lot of anti-male sentiment bubbling around.

We have been having lots of sex, but it is pettering off, we started with twice a night for most nights and now its only ever once (because of me) and im increasingly having trouble losing it early, or the opposite. She says she doesnt care when it happens but I know it does because I feel like shit and she doesnt want to talk and 2 nights ago she told me that if I didnt leave she might have to leave me. I then walked about half a mile down the road toward home and she texts me saying shes sorry and I can come back if I want, then I grudgingly turn round, I get to her house check my phone and check my messages, there are 2 more saying that shes sorry for screwing me around and that dont worry anymore about coming up...argh!

She confronted me about a week ago and asked if I thought things were working out (face to face) and I managed to keep a level head and basically said that I felt that I couldnt stand up for myself and that most of the time I didnt feel I could express my opinions. She took this and things have been slightly better, she also suggested that we ease off the sex and just cuddle up in front of a film a bit more, I thought this sounded brilliant. So the next 2 days she invites me round and keeps touching me untill we have sex, so nothings changed. She has made the same suggestion again and I've agreed again so hopefully things will be better this time.

On Msn she started going on about how she cant go to oxford uni because she wouldnt be able to afford the train to the interview (even though I know that she wont get the grades, and she wants to windsurf so shes said before she doesnt want to go to uni in london), anyway I argue that surly her mum or gran could put money toward if and if she doesnt want to go on her own her mum could take time off work. Anyway she says that I never listen, I just assume and logs out. I think about this and think perhaps I was assuming. She asks me if I think this is working and I say I dont know, shes hurt and says she thought it was. I talk about her opinions and making me feel I cant say anything again and she goes off in a huff.

Now she is saying how crap she is in all life and that she thought I was happy and that shes loves me but she doubts that will ever be enough.

I really dont know what to do, at the moment I am going along saying I love her (which I think I do)and just trying to make things work.

Comments are welcomed but I just feel much better for typing this out.

This is similar to what I posted to tmcfaul about pushing people away, here: ( http://www.funadvice.com/?x... ) it sounds like your girlfriend wants to push you away because she is "losing" her parents etc... but at the same time it seems as though she cares for you. You must understand that girls analyze things more in depth which makes them confused themself and they don't know what to do, guys tend to be more reasonable thinkers. I would try commuicating to her how you feel, because if I know anything about realtionships the two things that are most important is commuications, and honesty.

Jason

Thanks for your replys, things have calmed down abit since i posted which is nice. And i can certainally say that communication is so important in all aspects of relationships it just makes things so much better.

It is the summer hols which isnt helping things as we both have a lot of free time and i dont work any more so theres not much time where i can say for sure i cant meet up with her. But i dunno, things are better today.

Lol yesterday had a fun converstation...she was going on about how much she would like to be loved for only her body and how much easier that would be (she has ongoing psychological stuff but she been keep it under control atm). So i say that i love her for more than her body, and she says that makes her think shes ugly, it worked out ok because i gaze her an all over massage for about 30mins that she really enjoyed and i think proved to her how much i care.

Thanks a load for your help guys.

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