Is having a friend with benefits being a bad christian?

I am a good christian girl, I strive to be close to God, I want a great relationship with him, and I love to learn what he has instor for me. But there is this guy friend that I have and he isn't a christian, or at least not a good one and we love to...

hang out and be flirty and have fun. Well last night he asked me if we wanted to be friends with benefits and I was wondering if that is okay thing to do when I am a christian?

No, it just means you, like the rest of us, are a sinner. The thing to do is to stop the sinful "benefits," ask God's mercy (such as, for Catholics, Reconciliation), and try to live according to the Gospel.

What's the problem with these sins? Well, you are using your body to say, "I give myself to you completely," when you have not, in fact, made any such commitment. You are lying with your body. I assume you are using some form of birth control, to protect yourself in case..

Or, do your parents know and approve of what you are doing? Why not?

Well, true intimacy, in a committed relationship, does not need protection. The very fact you need protection, the very fact you are ashamed to tell everyone of your commitment, and to make that commitment in the first place, indicate something is missing here. And that points toward the sin.

Don't worry, being friends with benefits does not mean your not a good christian anymore. It's only what you do that can make you not a good christian anymore. Now trust me on this b/c I definitely am a good christian I am catholic so I know what is right and what is wrong. You can be friends with benefits just dont do anything to drastic like sex. now that would be a bad christian.

there is no such thing as a bad christian. if youi're christian you should know God forgives all sins, even sex before marriage. even good christians aren't perfect.

kaseynoel>friends with benefits IS having sex, and in my opinion is NOT a good idea. Especially if you have feelings for this boy. If you are using one another for JUST sex, and their are NO emotional feelings involved, or you both dont want to be in a commited relationship with one another, then its YOUR choice to have sex with him, but it always leaves one person feeling empty because they wanted more than JUST sex from them. Its usually the girl ends up getting hurt after awhile, because she realizes he just wants her as his sex partner, and nothing more.

Well, the Christian ethic is that you don't have sex before marraige. Can you go having casual, meaningless sex out of wedlock and still be considered a commandment, Jesus fearing Christian? Imagine what your pastor would say if you asked him that question. Right.

The fact that you'd even ask this question leads me to believe that you are not so resolute in your faith as you say you are. I know plenty of God fearing Christians who knew the answer to your question by age 10.

So it seems now that your real question is not really a question at all. More an announcement that you are considering engaging in activities that are gravely against the rules of your faith. Because pleasures of the body are temptations, this is something that all young Christians are faced with at some point. Some stay in the faith, hold off, end up marrying very young (look at Jessica Simpson) and then realize that it was all a big mistake just because they wanted to truly be an adult and have sex. Some leave the faith for awhile, or change to a more loose religion and p*ss off their family in between.

Now is the time in your life, when the decision is yours. Its sounds to me like you are speaking out of fear, because what you're basically saying is that, "hey, I love God and am a good Christian, but I want to have meaningless sex with a guy I think is real cute. That's okay, right?"

Well, I'm no Chrisitian. But I'm also not going to come on here and say, "it's okay, honey. You just go ahead and have all the crazy sex you want, God will understand." So I don't know what to tell you. If you seek the advice of your Christian family, they will tell you that you are wrong and committing sin. If you solicit the advice of non Christians, they are going to give you the blessing to spread your legs anytime you want for anyone.

Putting religion aside for a moment, I am in the opinon the "friends with benefits" is not the things for young people to do. Especially virgins. There are a whole set of rules and regs that "friends with benefits" entails that you really only uderstand as a sexually experienced adult. And even then, I find that most adults don't do it right. Inevitably, someone ends up caring for one person more than the other. It's a big mess and I'd only just have sexual relationships with people you actually care for and are having at least a dating relationship with.

Whenever a guy proposes a friends with benefits situation, it means that he has no desire to date you, fall in love with you, or be your boyfriend. It just means he wants sex with you without strings, whenever he wants, indefinitely. What an honor!

At least find a guy that finds worth and value in your for more than just your nether regions. When I was young, I found some guy who just wanted to have sex with me very, very boring. Every guy wanted that, therefore I had no interest and all and resented that he couldn't be different. So find yourself some power here to make your own decision. You'll get people telling you nothing different here but to "go for it" or to stay a good Christian and wait until marraige. You already know those are your options. You have to make this decision yourself.

Like others have said, you can't have it both ways.

Are you a sincere Christian or someone who just plays lip service to being a Christian?

Ask yourself: Would this please or not please my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ ?...The Holy Spirit (who lives within every Christian) will guide you to the right decision.

Just wanted to add: someone who wants to be a friend 'with benefits' sure sounds like spin for 'we can do more with each other than just friends' or 'we can USE each other for smoething' - common sense - DANGER !

Although there are no "bad christians" if you know that you shouldn't do things, then don't do them. If you think that you are going to have s*x before marriage or that something bad will arise from this relationship, then I advise you to get out of it this instant. Being a christian is being close to God, yes, but it's also being able to follow his word, and make sure to obey it. If you do something wrong out of ignorance, then God will surely forgive you. In fact, he will forgive you out of love, (like parents) however, if you keep doing something out of pure stupidity, then you need to repent. Don't do something foolish, that you will regret, because God sees everything.

Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. 14 And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. 15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. 16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

I have always looked at it this way..God loves the sinner not the sin..I am a christian too and my boy friend is not on top of that we will together I love God got o church every week offten times twice a week and am really involved in it..I read my bible every day and I am not just some one who is saying that I really do do these things and I am only seventeen years old..(in foster care too) the thing is there is know good or bad christian we are all people and we are all isnners and we all fall short and give in to temtation I have as have everyone..what makes you a good christian do you think? For we are saved by faith and not by works..itis not what we do or do not do that saves us but by our faith in God and what Jesus did for us on the cross. If you love God and believe that christ did you are saved and already forgiven for the sins you commited and will commit it is no excuse to sin but if you think god will hate you if you mess up you are wrong he will never stop loving you and he will never abandon you..as for this friends with benifits I would say know don't do that because it is a meaningless thing there is no commitment and know love..just pleasure for self gain..things like that should be done with some one you love not with out any attatchments I think that is wrong my self..I love the mani am with and it is my prayer that in time he will come to love God the way I do and I had sinned against God with him..and I know it was wrong but I love him too..thing is although I have reason God will not excuse my sin but he will not stop loving me either.. I personaly say know to friends with benifits and wait for love..it is more then worht it..either way God will love you.

my take on this situation is, there is no such thing as a "good christian". In god's eyes, he looks upon all sin the same. All sin is serious, but god forgives us because he loves us. He knows we are not perfect, but our job as christians is to do our best to follow god's word. We all make mistakes, but as far as living your life in sin I can't say that is a good idea. But, like I said God forgives. What you do is your decision, but remember what you are doing is a sin.

Define what you mean by benfits in this case. . . .

It depends on your denonimation. In any case, people will more likely have a problem with it than God. I'd say keep it between you, God, and your "friend"

Did your friend mean friends with benefits... as in s*x? Or something else? If he meant s*x then I don't think you should be "friends with benefits". I don't think God would want you to be just having s*x and saying it's nothing more than just benefits.

If you are asking this question, then you probably already know the answer. If you have to "think up" a good reason for something, then that is a ggod clue for you, that it is probably not. A Christian is someone who loves and follows Jesus. He says that if we love him, we will obey him. He wants us to obey him because he loves us and knows what it best for us. Whenever you are not sure if what are wanting to do is good or bad, think to yourself, "If I could see the look on Jesus face while he was watching me do this, would the look be sad, or would he be smiling."

Of course, you've always got that "ask, and ye shall be forgiven" loophole...

... I agree, s*x with someone you're not in a loving, commited relationship with COULD really f*ck you up, short and long-term .
Your body is not a s*x toy for your friends. (although perhaps you could suggest a s*x toy to your friend next time he asks you for benefits).
Also, by the same token, you would not be respecting your friend or his body.
We can understand putting our fingers in fire will hurt but
because emotional and pshycological damage is much less tangible, we do kinda find it difficult not to do the things we know will hurt us.
. you are the one who should care about your sacred body and soul and decide who'm you trust to share it with. Love and respect your self above all others, dont put yourself in situations that arent good. You deserve better.
If you aren't mature or sure of yourself enough to make some decisions, you could ask the advice of your parents? or other adults - ones who have functional and happy relationships will give the most worthwhile advice -I hope you find such support..

... Christian means 'Christ Like', right? ... Do you think Jesus (God) went around having friends with benifits or casual relations? I dont think so. Its a perrrdy lame excuse, if its not intercourse then it doesnt count.. you get the same results.. results that should be saved for marriage.

And Lord knows I have my own problems to work on.. but I think there is a such thing as a bad Christian. If people say they are, and then go out and randomly hook up, get drunk, do drugs, dress slutty, whatever it may be.. and think, hey I can just ask for forgiveness and then just go do it again and again... thats just wrong. How is that even being a good person let alone Christian?

I agree with callynth about having to 'think up" a good reason to explain your behavior. Another clue: if you are tempted to hide the behavior from others, like parents or church ministers, than you really need to consider if it is good.

And, to respond to captainassassin, the Christian's trust in God's mercy is not a loophole, a free pass to continue to sin. St. Paul writes extensively on the commitment to God's mercy. We are set free for virtue, not to sin. To continue in sin because we can always then turn around and be forgiven is perverse.

Unless you REALLY mean it...