Why does he want me to get a fifth abortion?

im 30 years old and hes 37. weve had an ongoing affair now for 5yrs .he says his divorce is final in may but he wasnt the one who filed. in fact, my last abortion which was #4 by him was announced to his wife , she inquired about us and I was tired of...

all the drama and abortions. here it is a couple months later and im 2months pregnant again...he doesnt want me to keep this one either, he keep saying he doesntt want to have a baby by mebut he wont leave me alone. I dont want a baby by him either but I want my baby and nomore abortions. why does he keep saying the same thing when im pregnant and what shoould I do?

Keep the baby. let him deal with it. <3

You need to find out if this divorce is in fact done with for sure.
This is so many problems mixed into one I don't even know where to start. I am very strongly against abortions, but I'm not going to get all into your face about it because your an adult and thats your choice. I don't exactly understand how this could have happened so many times. You are an adult, you should know that if you aren't using protection during intercourse there is a high chance of pregnancy. Its the cold hard truth, and both of you know that and you just keep ignoring it. I think what you need to do is have the child and put it up for adoption, which is what you should have done with the other ones. Adoption is so much better then abortion. He would never have to deal with the baby. Have this child, give it a chance at life. Why should the child have to suffer because of your mistakes?
You need to put this baby up for adoption and get away from this man! The relationship, or whatever you want to call it, just isn't working. For your safety, and the child's safety... you need to break off all contact he has with you. He cheated on his wife, he'll end up cheating you too. This man cannot be trusted. And please...for the future, use protection and no more un-planned pregnancies!

Keep the baby you can't let him run your life and find out if that divorce is fianl cause he could be lying to you.
Good luck.
&
Congrats on the baby.

find out if the divorce is really final and keep your baby. if he doesn't want a baby that's his problem. best of luck:]

he obviously doesn't really care for you... I had a guy tell me to have an abortion ... ya I understood to a point cause I was fourteen years old ... but I still wanted my baby.. and obvioulsy he didnt care to much or he would have just been happy for me cause I was happy... I think you should keep the baby... and if you don't want to be with him then leave him and find someone who wants to be a dad to your child... your kid will forgive you...

KEEP THE BABY! you'll be regretting you didn't laterrr...ohh. let him deal with itt
=]]

yeah my bestfriends say the same thing. keep the baby forget him and let him deal with it. he s trying to go back home to his wife again this happens everytime I get pregnant.im tired of it all really and I want this to really be over, but I feel like im the one making all the sacrafices and I have to be the one to let the world know that I made the biggest mistake of my life by having a child by a man who disnt want him.her to be here. I truely fault myself for allowing this to happen again. im so confused because I have been robbed of the joy of being pregnant everytime. im hurt and he calls everyday from sun up to sun down saying he doesnt want this baby and hes so selfish about all this because he thinks its about him. I told him its not about him so stop calling and go home to your wife (even though they live in2 separate places). anyway should I call her and let her know?

I think you need to think about what you really want (for example do you want to be with him?, is he right person for you?, do you want this baby? and so forth) in life and what you want from him (in terms of your relationship and the pregnancy) and then talk to him about it, explain how you feel.

If you want this baby and you want him to be involved both has a father to the baby and/or partner to you then tell him this and see how he responds. You really also need to find out I think exactly what he wants out your relationship also(and whether he has really has divorced his wife)...5 years is a long time for you to be so committed (as you are to this person), without getting the same respect, love and care in return from him.

You ask why he keep's saying that he does not want a baby...this is something you really need to ask him - it could be that he genuinly does not want children at all (for some people they have no interest in having children of their own, and that's there choice)? You did't say but if he has children with his first wife, it may be that he feels he has enough children and does not want anymore (or he does not want to upset any exisiting children), or it could be that he (as you say) is wanting to get back with his wife and does want to risk this by having a baby with you (or anyone else), there could be many reasons for his behavior, but this is something you really need to talk through with him! If you don't want the same things, then it's not going to work - one person will end up getting hurt and/or sacrifising a lot to be with that person.

You sound like a lovely person and you do not deserve to be treated as second best to his wife - you deserve to have someone who his committed to you alone. Also to cooerce you into having four abortions so far is unbeliveable - again you do not deserve this. I recently had abortion mainly becasue the father did not want the baby, I truely regret my decision and I wished I had my baby. At the end of the day it is up to you whichever you decide but I think after four abortions, it is time you thought about more what you want, because you could regret it, as I did. If you really want this baby and he refuses to come round to the idea, then I'm afraid you will need decide which is more important to you, him or you baby? Personally I would leave him and have the baby, you can always find a nice decent man in future when your ready, who will be willing to be a step father to your child and good loving partner/husband to you. Futhermore from my personal experience after my abortion I have had (and still do) the immense feeling of guilt, loss, regret and I don't think I could ever have another abortion - you don't know how you will feel after another abortion or even if you will get another opportunity to be a mom, you could regret this.

Also if you deicide to have the abortion...then you need consider (before you go ahead with the abortion) what you will gain from the relationship with him?... Will it improve? Will it continue as it is (with him going back and forth to his wife)? Will he allow you to have the child you so obviuosly long for and What would you expect from the relationship? Becausee if you have the abortion and he continues treating you in such as bad way then will it be worth it - you could regret not having the child if things do not work out or he does not change?

Having said that you may decide that the abortion is best for you, but you must be 100% sure that this is what you want (although it does not sound to me that it is what you want). Abortion is a procedure, it safe but it must not be taken likely and you must consider the effect all these abortions are having on your body and your mental health. However there are many people out there who have abortions for whatever reasons and do not regret it.

You just need to decide what is truely best for you, because it will be you who must live with the consequences of your decision whether you decide to continue or abort. I think you should really speak (as you have already) to friends and family for advise/support, you could also consider seeing a councillor as they may help you to reach your own decision on what you want to do?

I think you need to think about what you really want (for example do you want to be with him?, is he right person for you?, do you want this baby? and so forth) in life and what you want from him (in terms of your relationship and the pregnancy) and then talk to him about it, explain how you feel.

If you want this baby and you want him to be involved both has a father to the baby and/or partner to you then tell him this and see how he responds. You really also need to find out I think exactly what he wants out your relationship also(and whether he has really has divorced his wife)...5 years is a long time for you to be so committed (as you are to this person), without getting the same respect, love and care in return from him.

You ask why he keep's saying that he does not want a baby...this is something you really need to ask him - it could be that he genuinly does not want children at all (for some people they have no interest in having children of their own, and that's there choice)? You did't say but if he has children with his first wife, it may be that he feels he has enough children and does not want anymore (or he does not want to upset any exisiting children), or it could be that he (as you say) is wanting to get back with his wife and does want to risk this by having a baby with you (or anyone else), there could be many reasons for his behavior, but this is something you really need to talk through with him! If you don't want the same things, then it's not going to work - one person will end up getting hurt and/or sacrifising a lot to be with that person.

You sound like a lovely person and you do not deserve to be treated as second best to his wife - you deserve to have someone who his committed to you alone. Also to cooerce you into having four abortions so far is unbeliveable - again you do not deserve this. I recently had abortion mainly becasue the father did not want the baby, I truely regret my decision and I wished I had my baby. At the end of the day it is up to you whichever you decide but I think after four abortions, it is time you thought about more what you want, because you could regret it, as I did. If you really want this baby and he refuses to come round to the idea, then I'm afraid you will need decide which is more important to you, him or you baby? Personally I would leave him and have the baby, you can always find a nice decent man in future when your ready, who will be willing to be a step father to your child and good loving partner/husband to you. Futhermore from my personal experience after my abortion I have had (and still do) the immense feeling of guilt, loss, regret and I don't think I could ever have another abortion - you don't know how you will feel after another abortion or even if you will get another opportunity to be a mom, you could regret this.

Also if you deicide to have the abortion...then you need consider (before you go ahead with the abortion) what you will gain from the relationship with him?... Will it improve? Will it continue as it is (with him going back and forth to his wife)? Will he allow you to have the child you so obviuosly long for and What would you expect from the relationship? Becausee if you have the abortion and he continues treating you in such as bad way then will it be worth it - you could regret not having the child if things do not work out or he does not change?

Having said that you may decide that the abortion is best for you, but you must be 100% sure that this is what you want (although it does not sound to me that it is what you want). Abortion is a procedure, it safe but it must not be taken likely and you must consider the effect all these abortions are having on your body and your mental health. However there are many people out there who have abortions for whatever reasons and do not regret it.

You just need to decide what is truely best for you, because it will be you who must live with the consequences of your decision whether you decide to continue or abort. I think you should really speak (as you have already) to friends and family for advise/support, you could also consider seeing a councillor as they may help you to reach your own decision on what you want to do?

you've had 4 abortions! omg learn to keep your legs closed! that's so messed up!

Is it because you are an idiot? I think so. Your eyes should have been open during the second abortion. I don't understand how the hell you can keep killing off future lives because you are greedy.

Keep the baby and leave him! Why would you keep putting yourself in that situation? Sadly, you now have 4 children waiting for you in Heaven. Please don't make it 5! Get to a confessional quickly!