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astronomy, tall buildings, krishna consciousness
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iamcool
:
Please critique my poem
( 6 answers )
Bbbb's recent Questions
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tinatodder4
answered okay.
jello
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FA records on members with the most questions answers, etc?
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nic2589
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kayleelovesjoejonas
answered thats sad tell her how much you care and how the guys shes been with dont car...
Comments for bbbb
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heya...I was just wondering if that pic is actually you because if it is I just want you to know that you are beautiful!!!
Why do you keep changing your user name?
You used another one after you stopped using this one and are currently using the name 'Paradise'
Whats the idea and how come your age and sex constantly changed each time?
I'm rather baffled by this but if you would like to shed some light on it I'm all ears.







bbbb's Profile
My Recent Poems
Life Poem
Trapped in a room
Left here to die
I’m screaming out my final cries
The shackles rough that bind my feet
I wish I had something to eat
Deprived of water food and air
I live my life without a care
I’ve sunken into great despair
The pain is brutal
The hours long
All I do is sing this song
Day after day
Night after night
I continue to try and put up a fight
The chains are coarse
I feel remorse
I cannot go on any longer
No matter what I say or do
I cannot become any stronger
The weight of this burden is crushing my soul
When I look inside I see a black hole
A hole that is dark, consuming and grim
I pull out a knife and everything dims
The Shining Light Poem
As I glanced upon her
Shining like the Sun
Something ticked within me
And told me to have fun
Then I went to see her
Sitting on a bench
But before I could get close
There was a thirst I had to quench
This missing piece inside my heart
This hole that never ends
I wondered how to fill this hole
And how to make amends.
No matter how much I try
Inside me I can't help but cry
Nothing that I do or try
could ever make me rectify
The feelings that are within me.
Effulgence Poem
On the Beach I see your glow
Your body makes the oceans flow
Your eyes light up like the starlit sky
When I hold you I start to fly
Your smile glows like the moon
I hope to see you very soon
When nightfall comes I think of you
Your image comforts me when I’m blue
You’re the only thing that’s on my mind.
Your gracious looks are oh so kind.
When we’re apart I’m ever sad
When were together I’m really glad
You are the best gift I have ever had.
Even when you’re really mad.
I cherish dearly the day we met
You have enriched my life and now I’m set.